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Introduction. Looking for some support.
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 432568" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>Welcome to the forum. Sorry your son is struggling so much at school and at home. It's unfortunate that the situation has gotten to the point where your entire family is being ostracized. Glad you have decided it's time to take action to get more help.</p><p></p><p>You need to get a comprehensive neuropsychologist assessment. Not everyone is qualified to diagnose autism spectrum disorders especially when it is an atypical presentation. That's not to say it's autism but it's one reason you need a neuropsychologist assessment done as soon as you can get one. You need more information on what you are dealing with and you need it right away. It can take several months to get one depending on your situation so you need to give this your attention now - not next school year.</p><p></p><p>Pick up Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child today and read it tonight if possible. It's widely recommended to folks on the board and you may find it very helpful in figuring out how to structure things better at home. The more your son stays stuck in the reactive pattern the more he will be reactive in my experience. It's a matter of brain development. It's the same as a habit. If he's doing it every day then it's being hardwired into his brain and I know you don't want that to happen.</p><p></p><p>As for school, it is Special Education time. You should already have had the principal referring your son for assessment if these behaviors are clearly a sign of a behavioral disability. This is required by IDEA under the child find regulations and I am rather surprised, given the level of disruption you're describing, that he didn't make that referral.</p><p></p><p>Send a letter to the district Special Education director today, copy to the principal, requesting that your son be assessed for Special Education services, stating the reasons you suspect he is a child with a disability. This can be delivered a variety of ways but no matter how you do it (hand delivery, fax, mail) you need proof that the letter was received.</p><p></p><p>California has some really strong regulations giving specific time frames for schools to respond to such a request, conduct an assessment and hold an IEP meeting. Given that it's the end of the school year you are very unlikely to get the assessments done until next school year unless you can make a strong case that your son is a danger to himself or others in the classroom. But the sooner you write that letter (today) the sooner the clock starts ticking for them to conduct the assessments. I think it's 60 days to conduct the assessments and hold a meeting once they have your consent to assess. They have 15 days after they receive that request to either deny your request or present an assessment plan. So you are looking at it being November or December if they take the maximum time to get through the process.</p><p></p><p>When you get the the assessment plan you want to check every box on the form and, if there isn't one for it, mark Other and say you want an autism assessment. You have the right and responsibility to have him assessed in all those areas - don't let the school district tell you otherwise. No matter how many little boxes they checked - you check all of them. You may not think he needs a speech assessment for example, but he may have underlying language processing problems (which fall under the aegis of speech and language) that is setting him up for some of these problems and needs to be addressed right away.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, you should get your son to a CHILD psychiatrist for evaluation of psychiatric conditions and possibly treatment.</p><p></p><p>I strongly suggest that you and husband get family therapy. Having a difficult child like this is a strain on all couples/families and you will be amazed at how much this will help you deal with each other, your child and your community more effectively. And you will feel better too.</p><p></p><p>You probably won't want to hear this, but you may want to start considering how you and husband can work it out for one of you to work part-time so that you can be at home with your son more. His behaviors are likely to get worse before they get better. You will need time to deal with doctors, school, support systems and, not least of all, your son in ways that simply take time. Time spent NOW educating yourself and working to identify and intervene with your son will save you so much grief and time later - don't delay any longer.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and sympathy. been there done that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 432568, member: 11920"] Welcome to the forum. Sorry your son is struggling so much at school and at home. It's unfortunate that the situation has gotten to the point where your entire family is being ostracized. Glad you have decided it's time to take action to get more help. You need to get a comprehensive neuropsychologist assessment. Not everyone is qualified to diagnose autism spectrum disorders especially when it is an atypical presentation. That's not to say it's autism but it's one reason you need a neuropsychologist assessment done as soon as you can get one. You need more information on what you are dealing with and you need it right away. It can take several months to get one depending on your situation so you need to give this your attention now - not next school year. Pick up Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child today and read it tonight if possible. It's widely recommended to folks on the board and you may find it very helpful in figuring out how to structure things better at home. The more your son stays stuck in the reactive pattern the more he will be reactive in my experience. It's a matter of brain development. It's the same as a habit. If he's doing it every day then it's being hardwired into his brain and I know you don't want that to happen. As for school, it is Special Education time. You should already have had the principal referring your son for assessment if these behaviors are clearly a sign of a behavioral disability. This is required by IDEA under the child find regulations and I am rather surprised, given the level of disruption you're describing, that he didn't make that referral. Send a letter to the district Special Education director today, copy to the principal, requesting that your son be assessed for Special Education services, stating the reasons you suspect he is a child with a disability. This can be delivered a variety of ways but no matter how you do it (hand delivery, fax, mail) you need proof that the letter was received. California has some really strong regulations giving specific time frames for schools to respond to such a request, conduct an assessment and hold an IEP meeting. Given that it's the end of the school year you are very unlikely to get the assessments done until next school year unless you can make a strong case that your son is a danger to himself or others in the classroom. But the sooner you write that letter (today) the sooner the clock starts ticking for them to conduct the assessments. I think it's 60 days to conduct the assessments and hold a meeting once they have your consent to assess. They have 15 days after they receive that request to either deny your request or present an assessment plan. So you are looking at it being November or December if they take the maximum time to get through the process. When you get the the assessment plan you want to check every box on the form and, if there isn't one for it, mark Other and say you want an autism assessment. You have the right and responsibility to have him assessed in all those areas - don't let the school district tell you otherwise. No matter how many little boxes they checked - you check all of them. You may not think he needs a speech assessment for example, but he may have underlying language processing problems (which fall under the aegis of speech and language) that is setting him up for some of these problems and needs to be addressed right away. In the meantime, you should get your son to a CHILD psychiatrist for evaluation of psychiatric conditions and possibly treatment. I strongly suggest that you and husband get family therapy. Having a difficult child like this is a strain on all couples/families and you will be amazed at how much this will help you deal with each other, your child and your community more effectively. And you will feel better too. You probably won't want to hear this, but you may want to start considering how you and husband can work it out for one of you to work part-time so that you can be at home with your son more. His behaviors are likely to get worse before they get better. You will need time to deal with doctors, school, support systems and, not least of all, your son in ways that simply take time. Time spent NOW educating yourself and working to identify and intervene with your son will save you so much grief and time later - don't delay any longer. Hugs and sympathy. been there done that. [/QUOTE]
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