Hi All,
I don't usually do forums. WEll, not since my son was very young. I felt compelled to look for support so here I am. My almost 7 yr. old son has yet to be diagnosed with anything particular. He has had social and behavior struggles since before he was 2 yrs. old. We've tried a bunch of things. He was screend for autism (no) but has never been formally evaluated for mental health issues. He is currently seeing a child therapist (MFT) but only started about a month ago. He shows signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), tourettes, and general anxiety. He is very emotional. This can show as a total crying, screaming breakdown over something small or aggressive behavior. I am now ready to look into trying some medications to see if it helps him.
He has troubles with school. Lately it has gotten worse. His best little friend this year taught him all kinds of horrible language that my son, being impulsive, defiant, and social clueless, uses out loud. Of course the other kid doesn't get in trouble for language but sure thinks it's funny when my kid does. What is making me literally sick right now is that my son with all of his faults, is being labelled by other children and parents. He hurts other kids. No doubt about it. But, he is not a bully. He gets mad or hurt easily and reacts physically. I'm talking, grabs a kids hand and squeezes, leaving a finger nail mark. He scratches. Now, kids are all over him all of the time. He gets tattled on like crazy. Many times, as seen by me and my husband, he isn't doing anything other kids aren;t doing. Things are getting so blown out of proportion. The class envt. is quite toxic. Can you believe a parent actually leaned into his classroom one day and yelled out "Remember. My child is not suppposed to sit next to (GSG)". No wonder my kid is now labelled as a "Bad kid". I am not saying he doesn't do bad things but his behavior has escalated because of all of this. We love his teacher and the principal at this school. His school is only K-2 and the principal s really working with him. So we don't want to switch schools is we can help it. So...
Anyhow, my son had an altercation with a kid on Monday. This kid has known my son since they were 4. I've know the family for a while. My son likes this kid a lot! His mom has heard me talk about GSG. So it was so hurtful when we heard on another occasion her husband had emailed some teacher complaining about my son and then rushed into the principals office after this altercation. Apparently, their versions of situations are very different than the versions we get from staff and our son. I think they are overeacting for sure but am so hurt that they are mad at us. I just got an email from the mom telling me that parents think that we just don't care about their children and have given up. (Oh yeah. She also said she hope we can set boundaries at home. HAHAHAH. Yeah we don;t try to do that. That's what the problem is) WTH do they know? I know my son has hurt their kids. Did their kids survive? Yes. Are their kids scared? Maybe, however, many of these same kids have been seen by teachers, trying to get my son to lose his temper or say bad words. Then turn to other kdis and ay "See. I told you he'd do that." What do they think we should be doing that we aren't? Do they want us to make private phone calls to them every time my child does something at school? Should I? I mean, I feel like I can not spend the little energy I have left after working full time into worrying about what they think of us. I use my energy to try to help my son. My son is always given consequences (has been suspended numerous times this year) and he always has to write a letter of apology to students he has harmed. What do they want from us??? Do we think it's OK that he does these things? Do they think we have a magic wand that could make him stop but we're too lazy to do it? We are suffering dealing with this. I'm not gonna hold a meeting with these people to prove to them we are caring parents who are suffering and trying really hard to help him. They just see things the way they want to see them. I will admit that I feel guilty a lot of the time that we aren't doing enough. Maybe we haven't been diligent enough with trying to find help. Seems like we try something new and give it time. Then that doesn't help and on to the next. Like it took months to even get himn tested for autism. It took months for us to get in this class for children with behavior issues and then the class was like 6 wks long. After all that, it was a waste of time for our child.
I am just filled with anger, shame, and guilt right now. I keep saring to myself and husband that we can't worry so much about what other people think. But it's eating me alive to think that all of these parents don't like us. I should add, what makes this worse is that my husband is the music teacher at my son's school. Talk about a negative work envt. for him. I am a teacher as well. Speaking for myself, I am well loved by my students and teachers are impressed with my work. It is additionally hurtful to be judged so harshly when husband and I are teachers. I'm sure that adds to what those parents are gossiping about.
Thank to anyone who takes the time to read my post. I hope to find guidance and support here. Having read others' posts, you guys are all like heroes in my eyes! This so so crazy hard!
I don't usually do forums. WEll, not since my son was very young. I felt compelled to look for support so here I am. My almost 7 yr. old son has yet to be diagnosed with anything particular. He has had social and behavior struggles since before he was 2 yrs. old. We've tried a bunch of things. He was screend for autism (no) but has never been formally evaluated for mental health issues. He is currently seeing a child therapist (MFT) but only started about a month ago. He shows signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), tourettes, and general anxiety. He is very emotional. This can show as a total crying, screaming breakdown over something small or aggressive behavior. I am now ready to look into trying some medications to see if it helps him.
He has troubles with school. Lately it has gotten worse. His best little friend this year taught him all kinds of horrible language that my son, being impulsive, defiant, and social clueless, uses out loud. Of course the other kid doesn't get in trouble for language but sure thinks it's funny when my kid does. What is making me literally sick right now is that my son with all of his faults, is being labelled by other children and parents. He hurts other kids. No doubt about it. But, he is not a bully. He gets mad or hurt easily and reacts physically. I'm talking, grabs a kids hand and squeezes, leaving a finger nail mark. He scratches. Now, kids are all over him all of the time. He gets tattled on like crazy. Many times, as seen by me and my husband, he isn't doing anything other kids aren;t doing. Things are getting so blown out of proportion. The class envt. is quite toxic. Can you believe a parent actually leaned into his classroom one day and yelled out "Remember. My child is not suppposed to sit next to (GSG)". No wonder my kid is now labelled as a "Bad kid". I am not saying he doesn't do bad things but his behavior has escalated because of all of this. We love his teacher and the principal at this school. His school is only K-2 and the principal s really working with him. So we don't want to switch schools is we can help it. So...
Anyhow, my son had an altercation with a kid on Monday. This kid has known my son since they were 4. I've know the family for a while. My son likes this kid a lot! His mom has heard me talk about GSG. So it was so hurtful when we heard on another occasion her husband had emailed some teacher complaining about my son and then rushed into the principals office after this altercation. Apparently, their versions of situations are very different than the versions we get from staff and our son. I think they are overeacting for sure but am so hurt that they are mad at us. I just got an email from the mom telling me that parents think that we just don't care about their children and have given up. (Oh yeah. She also said she hope we can set boundaries at home. HAHAHAH. Yeah we don;t try to do that. That's what the problem is) WTH do they know? I know my son has hurt their kids. Did their kids survive? Yes. Are their kids scared? Maybe, however, many of these same kids have been seen by teachers, trying to get my son to lose his temper or say bad words. Then turn to other kdis and ay "See. I told you he'd do that." What do they think we should be doing that we aren't? Do they want us to make private phone calls to them every time my child does something at school? Should I? I mean, I feel like I can not spend the little energy I have left after working full time into worrying about what they think of us. I use my energy to try to help my son. My son is always given consequences (has been suspended numerous times this year) and he always has to write a letter of apology to students he has harmed. What do they want from us??? Do we think it's OK that he does these things? Do they think we have a magic wand that could make him stop but we're too lazy to do it? We are suffering dealing with this. I'm not gonna hold a meeting with these people to prove to them we are caring parents who are suffering and trying really hard to help him. They just see things the way they want to see them. I will admit that I feel guilty a lot of the time that we aren't doing enough. Maybe we haven't been diligent enough with trying to find help. Seems like we try something new and give it time. Then that doesn't help and on to the next. Like it took months to even get himn tested for autism. It took months for us to get in this class for children with behavior issues and then the class was like 6 wks long. After all that, it was a waste of time for our child.
I am just filled with anger, shame, and guilt right now. I keep saring to myself and husband that we can't worry so much about what other people think. But it's eating me alive to think that all of these parents don't like us. I should add, what makes this worse is that my husband is the music teacher at my son's school. Talk about a negative work envt. for him. I am a teacher as well. Speaking for myself, I am well loved by my students and teachers are impressed with my work. It is additionally hurtful to be judged so harshly when husband and I are teachers. I'm sure that adds to what those parents are gossiping about.
Thank to anyone who takes the time to read my post. I hope to find guidance and support here. Having read others' posts, you guys are all like heroes in my eyes! This so so crazy hard!