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Irritated with oldest
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 446605" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Janet, it is time to sit that boy down and introduce him to a BUDGET. WHere he has envelopes and has to put his $$ into envelopes for the bills and then he can get spending money. You do him NO services by letting him pay $150 a month for room, utilities, internet, satellite tv, and food. When you figure a reasonable budget, living expenses (home or apartment plus bills for water/power/electric/trash/home or renter's insurance) are supposed to be 28% of your income. That is $392 out of $1400. Getting all that he does for $150 means he is spending 10.7% of his income. Not only is this putting a strain on YOUR finances, it is NOT doing what a parent is supposed to do. Parents are supposed to prepare kids for the real world. HOW is he going to adjust to an apt with his girlfriend if he thinks he can get away with spending only 11% of his income on bills, then whatever amount for car and gas and car insurance, and have the rest put aside for him to spend on nothing useful? </p><p></p><p>I would tell him that the economy is hard on all of you. As he can no longer even get something for $1 for you, and he is not doing his chores, he has X amt of time to leave or on his next payday you will sit down with his ENTIRE paycheck and do a budget. Period. This means you get a budget form (they are online for free if you just google) and you and he sit down and do the math. He won't like it. But that is not your problem.</p><p></p><p>At 29, soon to be living with a woman, he needs that push to be a man. Cause right now he is a teenager - at least in his actions. As long as you allow him to not pull his own weight, you are inhibiting his growth. By telling him to start pulling his weight you are telling him you know he CAN and that he is now a MAN.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry it is so dang hard to get them to grow up!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 446605, member: 1233"] Janet, it is time to sit that boy down and introduce him to a BUDGET. WHere he has envelopes and has to put his $$ into envelopes for the bills and then he can get spending money. You do him NO services by letting him pay $150 a month for room, utilities, internet, satellite tv, and food. When you figure a reasonable budget, living expenses (home or apartment plus bills for water/power/electric/trash/home or renter's insurance) are supposed to be 28% of your income. That is $392 out of $1400. Getting all that he does for $150 means he is spending 10.7% of his income. Not only is this putting a strain on YOUR finances, it is NOT doing what a parent is supposed to do. Parents are supposed to prepare kids for the real world. HOW is he going to adjust to an apt with his girlfriend if he thinks he can get away with spending only 11% of his income on bills, then whatever amount for car and gas and car insurance, and have the rest put aside for him to spend on nothing useful? I would tell him that the economy is hard on all of you. As he can no longer even get something for $1 for you, and he is not doing his chores, he has X amt of time to leave or on his next payday you will sit down with his ENTIRE paycheck and do a budget. Period. This means you get a budget form (they are online for free if you just google) and you and he sit down and do the math. He won't like it. But that is not your problem. At 29, soon to be living with a woman, he needs that push to be a man. Cause right now he is a teenager - at least in his actions. As long as you allow him to not pull his own weight, you are inhibiting his growth. By telling him to start pulling his weight you are telling him you know he CAN and that he is now a MAN. I am sorry it is so dang hard to get them to grow up! [/QUOTE]
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