difficult child was always defiant for as long as I can remember. 13 years ago we were told ODD. With the current situation I am beginning to wonder if the medication...all of it..is just making it worse. Could his anger just be a part of ODD? I do think he is depressed / sad. I do believe his depersonalization. Due to how vividly he can describe it. I do believe he needs an antidepressant. But he isn't on one! Just thinking out loud while I wait for return call from psychiatrist. Wondering if all the medications could just mess him up more than without. with exception of anxiety medication. That HAS helped tremendously. Isn't having panic attacks all day every day. Not having all the aches and pains and thinking he is dying. Not getting shaky and sweaty and so scared. That medication is helping. sigh. double sigh. He has me beside myself. Lost and so alone. As you all know, what others witness isn't what it is really like. To try to explain to others who don't walk in these shoes...useless. They just do not get it. But, I am ready to throw it all in and quit. I am defeated.