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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 324369" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>I think we all are so programmed into what everyone else's norms are when it comes to what you should feel or not feel about "family". For those of us who have never grew up in a "normal" family, the guilt of not feeling what everone else does when a close family member is going to pass or on their way to passing, well, its definately a strange feeling. I remember how I felt when my father died - there was absolutely no connect there at all. Same when my brother died - but I did send him a note saying how sorry I was that he was ill. He refused to take any calls from me at the time and when he did pass, was hung for a lamb by the rest of the family because I didn't fly 3,000 miles to attend his funeral. I remember being confused and angry (not sad) for being judged over my decision not to go. He had a life that didn't include me, I had a life that didn't include him - and this was over a span of 40 years - why am I the bad guy (again)</p><p> </p><p>There should be books out there for people who have removed themselves from dysfunctional family situations to save themselves. Sort of am Emily Post rulebook on how one should conduct oneself when there is no emotional connect to immediate family and bad things happen.</p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 324369, member: 47"] I think we all are so programmed into what everyone else's norms are when it comes to what you should feel or not feel about "family". For those of us who have never grew up in a "normal" family, the guilt of not feeling what everone else does when a close family member is going to pass or on their way to passing, well, its definately a strange feeling. I remember how I felt when my father died - there was absolutely no connect there at all. Same when my brother died - but I did send him a note saying how sorry I was that he was ill. He refused to take any calls from me at the time and when he did pass, was hung for a lamb by the rest of the family because I didn't fly 3,000 miles to attend his funeral. I remember being confused and angry (not sad) for being judged over my decision not to go. He had a life that didn't include me, I had a life that didn't include him - and this was over a span of 40 years - why am I the bad guy (again) There should be books out there for people who have removed themselves from dysfunctional family situations to save themselves. Sort of am Emily Post rulebook on how one should conduct oneself when there is no emotional connect to immediate family and bad things happen. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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