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Is there a silver lining?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 215956" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm offended by the continued use of "Pedo dad" to describe her biological father. He has been found not guilty in a court of law of abusing all of his daughters. </p><p></p><p>If the order says that contact is to be limited to e-mail contact, that applies to all parties. Your SO should have told "Liz" to e-mail the Parent contact order to her.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately for your SO and easy child 2, your difficult child desires contact with her father. The continued antagonistic nature of your contacts with each other do not dissuade her from this, and may in fact make the contact more desirable to her as a "rescue figure" to her father.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You let her know that she is loved and never make her defend anyone. Assure her that she is her own person and she doesn't have to pay for what may or may not have happened with her sisters. Obey the court order. Walk away when someone else violates it and make a quiet report of the violation outside of the presence of your difficult child. Most of all, get over it. These are their problems, not hers, and it's not fair to expect her to hate him for something he didn't do before she has any cognizant memories of anything anyway.</p><p></p><p>I have a lot of experience in the legal and treatment field with families like your SO's. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your difficult child asks to live with her father based upon the constant hostility in your home towards her father. Any judge worth his salt would grant it in order to give her a more peaceful atmosphere to live and grow up in than she has in your home.</p><p></p><p>Have you and your SO and her other daughters gotten the therapy we advised you to get? Are you continuing to allow the older girls to use their father's picture for target practice and to post the bullet riddled results on their bedroom doors? Maybe someone else here is comfortable with your home situation and can see it in a loving light. I can not. I am terrified for your difficult child that none of you can be adult enough to walk away from the arguing for her sake.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 215956, member: 99"] I'm offended by the continued use of "Pedo dad" to describe her biological father. He has been found not guilty in a court of law of abusing all of his daughters. If the order says that contact is to be limited to e-mail contact, that applies to all parties. Your SO should have told "Liz" to e-mail the Parent contact order to her. Unfortunately for your SO and easy child 2, your difficult child desires contact with her father. The continued antagonistic nature of your contacts with each other do not dissuade her from this, and may in fact make the contact more desirable to her as a "rescue figure" to her father. You let her know that she is loved and never make her defend anyone. Assure her that she is her own person and she doesn't have to pay for what may or may not have happened with her sisters. Obey the court order. Walk away when someone else violates it and make a quiet report of the violation outside of the presence of your difficult child. Most of all, get over it. These are their problems, not hers, and it's not fair to expect her to hate him for something he didn't do before she has any cognizant memories of anything anyway. I have a lot of experience in the legal and treatment field with families like your SO's. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your difficult child asks to live with her father based upon the constant hostility in your home towards her father. Any judge worth his salt would grant it in order to give her a more peaceful atmosphere to live and grow up in than she has in your home. Have you and your SO and her other daughters gotten the therapy we advised you to get? Are you continuing to allow the older girls to use their father's picture for target practice and to post the bullet riddled results on their bedroom doors? Maybe someone else here is comfortable with your home situation and can see it in a loving light. I can not. I am terrified for your difficult child that none of you can be adult enough to walk away from the arguing for her sake. [/QUOTE]
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