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Is there a silver lining?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 216096" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>FTN, I do understand your anger and frustration. You're right, lack of prosecution is hugely different from a verdict of not guilty. However, somehow everyone has to move on. You, your SO, the girls. The girls can't move on without the help of the adults. They all need therapy. The youngest loves her dad. Plain and simple. No matter how you resent this love, it is there. You can't take that love away from her. No one has the right to do that. Her father has not hurt her, yet. Until he does, there's nothing you can do to prevent visitation. Worse, if you or SO allow the anger towards him show constantly, she's not going to let you know if he ever does hurt her in any way.</p><p> </p><p>Do work on getting therapy started. It really is important for all of the family members. When the ex or his present wife/girlfriend (?) call, simply state you need whatever via email and hang up. Do not confront these people. Your little one does not need nor deserve the drama. It is damaging to all and, if (when) there is a court hearing, it will give the judge more reason to rule in ex's favor (you were at his house when this last confrontation occurred). I hope you all find a way to get through this mess and that it becomes better soon.</p><p> </p><p>For the young lady who just saw justice once again betray her, try to explain that justice is blind. It doesn't see the nuances. People try to see others in the best light possble, even strangers. They did not say she was not molested or raped. They said that the past interfered with the present. Stinks, but that's the way it is sometimes. Honestly, it sounds like the DA fouled up. It is pretty easy to show how a molested child is more likely to become a victim to others in later years. This apparently didn't happen. This is one of the reasons I suggest everyone get therapy.</p><p> </p><p>You and your SO need to learn how to work through your anger and help the girls. The older girls need to learn how not to be victims, how to trust men in general, how to get through everything. The little one needs to learn how to deal with all the anger around her (not just at one home but at both of them). She needs to learn that it really is okay to like and love her dad even if the rest of the family doesn't and she needs to know she can speak up if needed. Honestly, I don't think any of you can get through this without professional help. There's just too much going on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 216096, member: 3626"] FTN, I do understand your anger and frustration. You're right, lack of prosecution is hugely different from a verdict of not guilty. However, somehow everyone has to move on. You, your SO, the girls. The girls can't move on without the help of the adults. They all need therapy. The youngest loves her dad. Plain and simple. No matter how you resent this love, it is there. You can't take that love away from her. No one has the right to do that. Her father has not hurt her, yet. Until he does, there's nothing you can do to prevent visitation. Worse, if you or SO allow the anger towards him show constantly, she's not going to let you know if he ever does hurt her in any way. Do work on getting therapy started. It really is important for all of the family members. When the ex or his present wife/girlfriend (?) call, simply state you need whatever via email and hang up. Do not confront these people. Your little one does not need nor deserve the drama. It is damaging to all and, if (when) there is a court hearing, it will give the judge more reason to rule in ex's favor (you were at his house when this last confrontation occurred). I hope you all find a way to get through this mess and that it becomes better soon. For the young lady who just saw justice once again betray her, try to explain that justice is blind. It doesn't see the nuances. People try to see others in the best light possble, even strangers. They did not say she was not molested or raped. They said that the past interfered with the present. Stinks, but that's the way it is sometimes. Honestly, it sounds like the DA fouled up. It is pretty easy to show how a molested child is more likely to become a victim to others in later years. This apparently didn't happen. This is one of the reasons I suggest everyone get therapy. You and your SO need to learn how to work through your anger and help the girls. The older girls need to learn how not to be victims, how to trust men in general, how to get through everything. The little one needs to learn how to deal with all the anger around her (not just at one home but at both of them). She needs to learn that it really is okay to like and love her dad even if the rest of the family doesn't and she needs to know she can speak up if needed. Honestly, I don't think any of you can get through this without professional help. There's just too much going on. [/QUOTE]
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