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Substance Abuse
Is this my problem?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 518076" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Kathy, I agree with Step and Janet. But ultimately, whether difficult child was telling you the truth or not it's still not your problem. If she knows that you'll bail her out every time she runs into a difficult situation, then she won't learn to be more careful.</p><p></p><p>Assume that she is telling the truth: She knows that her room at the halfway house is not a safe place to leave her money, but instead of keeping it on her person or giving it to you where it would be safe, she leaves it there anyway and it gets stolen. If you give her money to get by until her next paycheque, she has no incentive to learn anything from this other than, "I'll just ask mom for money." If she has to figure out how to survive until her next paycheque, on the other hand, she has an incentive to keep working hard and doing well at her job to ensure that she continues to make money, AND to do something safe with her money when she receives.</p><p></p><p>I don't mean to sound harsh or unkind, but sometimes the best thing we can do for our children is to leave them alone to learn to do for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 518076, member: 3907"] Kathy, I agree with Step and Janet. But ultimately, whether difficult child was telling you the truth or not it's still not your problem. If she knows that you'll bail her out every time she runs into a difficult situation, then she won't learn to be more careful. Assume that she is telling the truth: She knows that her room at the halfway house is not a safe place to leave her money, but instead of keeping it on her person or giving it to you where it would be safe, she leaves it there anyway and it gets stolen. If you give her money to get by until her next paycheque, she has no incentive to learn anything from this other than, "I'll just ask mom for money." If she has to figure out how to survive until her next paycheque, on the other hand, she has an incentive to keep working hard and doing well at her job to ensure that she continues to make money, AND to do something safe with her money when she receives. I don't mean to sound harsh or unkind, but sometimes the best thing we can do for our children is to leave them alone to learn to do for themselves. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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