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Isn't it sad
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 276632" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>I can't think of anything to add to what Midwest Mom just wrote: take care of yourself first, detach, do what you can to protect yourself. He is 18 and legally, responsible for himself. I hope he will move out of your home so you can get a little respite. Then the hard part will be for you to actually let him be, and let him feel the natural consequences of his actions. I am just beginning to be able to do that with my 19 and 16 year old teens, and they have had serious emotional and behavioral problems for at least the past six years. I've done every kind of intervention, read books, attended parenting classes, had DCF (CPS in some states) offer me services, you name it, I did it, to help my kids, but now I'm burnt out, like you.</p><p> </p><p>You have come to the right place. When you have some time I would recommend that you read some of the older posts in his particular forum and the Parent Emeritus forum intended for parents of difficult child's over age 18. Things do change when their legal status changes upon their 18th birthday and it's good to know where you stand.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck, and keep coming back to vent. I've always had someone send me a kind word no matter what I've written. People with better adjusted kids just cannot understand what we go through, so there's no point beating yourself up because your girlfriend's kid is going to a good college in September and yours may be headed for either rehab or court. Everyone has their private pain, and sometimes the kids who were perfect in adolescence turn out to be thirtysomethings with big chips on their shoulders and a lot of failed adult relationships. </p><p> </p><p>But please take care of your physical and mental health first. I'll be 50 at my next birthday, am morbidly obese and on medications for cholesterol and high blood pressure, so I can kind of relate to your concerns. I worry about having a heart attack or stroke and not being there for my kids, and leaving them with their dad, who is a piece of work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 276632, member: 5941"] I can't think of anything to add to what Midwest Mom just wrote: take care of yourself first, detach, do what you can to protect yourself. He is 18 and legally, responsible for himself. I hope he will move out of your home so you can get a little respite. Then the hard part will be for you to actually let him be, and let him feel the natural consequences of his actions. I am just beginning to be able to do that with my 19 and 16 year old teens, and they have had serious emotional and behavioral problems for at least the past six years. I've done every kind of intervention, read books, attended parenting classes, had DCF (CPS in some states) offer me services, you name it, I did it, to help my kids, but now I'm burnt out, like you. You have come to the right place. When you have some time I would recommend that you read some of the older posts in his particular forum and the Parent Emeritus forum intended for parents of difficult child's over age 18. Things do change when their legal status changes upon their 18th birthday and it's good to know where you stand. Good luck, and keep coming back to vent. I've always had someone send me a kind word no matter what I've written. People with better adjusted kids just cannot understand what we go through, so there's no point beating yourself up because your girlfriend's kid is going to a good college in September and yours may be headed for either rehab or court. Everyone has their private pain, and sometimes the kids who were perfect in adolescence turn out to be thirtysomethings with big chips on their shoulders and a lot of failed adult relationships. But please take care of your physical and mental health first. I'll be 50 at my next birthday, am morbidly obese and on medications for cholesterol and high blood pressure, so I can kind of relate to your concerns. I worry about having a heart attack or stroke and not being there for my kids, and leaving them with their dad, who is a piece of work. [/QUOTE]
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