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Isolation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 112399" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I know what you mean about the isolation. The schooling option we use means difficult child 3 is at home most of the time, and me with him. I push him out the door to spend time with his (very few) friends, but it's not a very social life for him.</p><p></p><p>What I take comfort in - the few social experiences he has, are generally very positive ones. Previously, his social experiences were often very negative and damaging. As he gets older, he is coping better with more challenge and we do get out a bit more, with ongoing success. We still have to keep things limited, much more so than for other kids his age, but he is now happier and functioning better.</p><p></p><p>If we tried to force what we consider 'normal' social interactions on them (because they were, for us, such an important part of growing up) they would not be the positive experiences we want them to be.</p><p></p><p>We do what we feel is right and in the process, make sacrifices we previously would have considered unthinkable. But overall, when you look back - maybe it's better to miss out on the family gathering, if the memories of that gathering were likely to be tainted with recollections of arguing, punishment and pain.</p><p></p><p>One day the kids will be grown and we can hack our way back into the jungle of family gatherings.</p><p></p><p>Until then - we have to learn to love the tranquility (relatively speaking).</p><p></p><p>Doesn't mean it isn't hard. But it is the right thing to do, I'm sure of it. And your sister in law can go jump in the lake with her oh so perfect children. One thing for sure - those perfect children are not learning anything about compassion. Not from her.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 112399, member: 1991"] I know what you mean about the isolation. The schooling option we use means difficult child 3 is at home most of the time, and me with him. I push him out the door to spend time with his (very few) friends, but it's not a very social life for him. What I take comfort in - the few social experiences he has, are generally very positive ones. Previously, his social experiences were often very negative and damaging. As he gets older, he is coping better with more challenge and we do get out a bit more, with ongoing success. We still have to keep things limited, much more so than for other kids his age, but he is now happier and functioning better. If we tried to force what we consider 'normal' social interactions on them (because they were, for us, such an important part of growing up) they would not be the positive experiences we want them to be. We do what we feel is right and in the process, make sacrifices we previously would have considered unthinkable. But overall, when you look back - maybe it's better to miss out on the family gathering, if the memories of that gathering were likely to be tainted with recollections of arguing, punishment and pain. One day the kids will be grown and we can hack our way back into the jungle of family gatherings. Until then - we have to learn to love the tranquility (relatively speaking). Doesn't mean it isn't hard. But it is the right thing to do, I'm sure of it. And your sister in law can go jump in the lake with her oh so perfect children. One thing for sure - those perfect children are not learning anything about compassion. Not from her. Marg [/QUOTE]
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