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Isolation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 112417" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Linda, it is isolating to not be with your large loving family and incorporate your difficult child's within that family group.</p><p>I think your health has magnified the isolation and loss you experienced. </p><p>Any chance you could move closer to family someday? If you only had a few hours with the kids and family it may work to help you feel part of the group. I know it may not be possible but just a thought.</p><p></p><p>In addition, you may want to slowly add a social group, one person/family at a time so that they may participate in celebrating in your area. I'm sure there are other parents of difficult child's that would welcome connecting with your family. Reciprocating on different holidays would make it less one sided. </p><p>I always thought if we had no invitations to a holiday gathering, instead of feeling alone, I would turn it around and invite others to our home. We moved away from family when difficult child was 4 wks old. I invited others who didn't have family nearby. It became a wonderful, lively, crazy tradition for a good 15yrs. Now our needs are different so our traditions alter to fit this chapter in our life. </p><p></p><p>I hope you feel better soon and that the kids mature enough to be able to be part of the big family gathering but that isn't all that realistic. My difficult child at 23, is still only able to hang out for a few hours. He is old enough though to move on and find something else that interests him. We give him choices. It was the only way we could have a life we liked and one that could be handled by difficult child. Sometimes he stayed home by his choice. </p><p></p><p>I figure the age of your kids and your health all put you in a state of transition with how your lives will be in the next few years. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 112417, member: 3"] Linda, it is isolating to not be with your large loving family and incorporate your difficult child's within that family group. I think your health has magnified the isolation and loss you experienced. Any chance you could move closer to family someday? If you only had a few hours with the kids and family it may work to help you feel part of the group. I know it may not be possible but just a thought. In addition, you may want to slowly add a social group, one person/family at a time so that they may participate in celebrating in your area. I'm sure there are other parents of difficult child's that would welcome connecting with your family. Reciprocating on different holidays would make it less one sided. I always thought if we had no invitations to a holiday gathering, instead of feeling alone, I would turn it around and invite others to our home. We moved away from family when difficult child was 4 wks old. I invited others who didn't have family nearby. It became a wonderful, lively, crazy tradition for a good 15yrs. Now our needs are different so our traditions alter to fit this chapter in our life. I hope you feel better soon and that the kids mature enough to be able to be part of the big family gathering but that isn't all that realistic. My difficult child at 23, is still only able to hang out for a few hours. He is old enough though to move on and find something else that interests him. We give him choices. It was the only way we could have a life we liked and one that could be handled by difficult child. Sometimes he stayed home by his choice. I figure the age of your kids and your health all put you in a state of transition with how your lives will be in the next few years. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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