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Isolation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 112536" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I'm not socially isolated. WE have made a valid decision to be this way, and actually accepted it for the majority of our days. </p><p></p><p>I don't know honestly at first what I missed most - *#$)( ing about the people that came to our house after WE invited them, after they left and were just petty, arguing, ugly with each other, snippy, gossipy and rude - </p><p>or</p><p>Did I miss them really? </p><p></p><p>I mean these were the same people that when we went to their houses - we actually KNEW the minute we walked out the door we were the center of conversation and if Dude was along -OH BOY bonus gossip. </p><p></p><p>So yes - Linda, to answer your original reflection - it's lonely. I have only one son. I don't know if he'll ever be able to do the things that I hope for him. And it makes me sad. </p><p></p><p>DF gave up drinking years ago, and those friends dwindled out due to the fact that we were just not fun any more. Actually when you have drunk friends and you aren't drinking - you have almost nothing to talk about. It gets old. </p><p></p><p>I have no friends left to speak of because everyone was afraid that my son would "rub off" of their kids. I thought it was just me at first and then I got invited to functions with "Adult ONLY" labels like Baking Parties, and dice game nights. No chance I could or would bring Dude - so they were safe, felt like the kept our friendship alive and in reality only drove a stake through my heart. I see it for what it is now. I'm mostly ok with it. </p><p></p><p>So that left me - and husband. husband is disabled so there are days when the pain medications render him a couch potato. Conversations are lacking in our home and if I did not have my dog to talk to and the rats - I would go crazy - or maybe I HAVE gone crazy and that's why I talk to the dog and the rats? (note to self check to see if the dog talks back) OH...the rats said he does. </p><p></p><p>My family was small but close - and over the years - my Mom has managed to keep a lot of our traditions alive. Nothing against Dixie - but I have to get home. I think what years we have left I would like to spend with her and if my sister isn't to phobic about everything - I can deal with her once I'm there. Maybe Dude will come there? Maybe he'll go elsewhere and I hate even thinking about this past Christmas - I guess you could say the reason I couldn't abide in it - was because of my reflections from past years being to painful. I couldn't cancel the day - but it certainly wasn't the day I remember in years gone by. </p><p></p><p>So I get ya - And when or IF I figure out anything other than coming here and blowing my cork once in a while to help? I'll let ya know. I guess you stay where you are comfy - and I think all of us get each other mostly - it's what brings me back - knowing that I'm not really alone - I have you all. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for letting me get that out of my system. </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 112536, member: 4964"] I'm not socially isolated. WE have made a valid decision to be this way, and actually accepted it for the majority of our days. I don't know honestly at first what I missed most - *#$)( ing about the people that came to our house after WE invited them, after they left and were just petty, arguing, ugly with each other, snippy, gossipy and rude - or Did I miss them really? I mean these were the same people that when we went to their houses - we actually KNEW the minute we walked out the door we were the center of conversation and if Dude was along -OH BOY bonus gossip. So yes - Linda, to answer your original reflection - it's lonely. I have only one son. I don't know if he'll ever be able to do the things that I hope for him. And it makes me sad. DF gave up drinking years ago, and those friends dwindled out due to the fact that we were just not fun any more. Actually when you have drunk friends and you aren't drinking - you have almost nothing to talk about. It gets old. I have no friends left to speak of because everyone was afraid that my son would "rub off" of their kids. I thought it was just me at first and then I got invited to functions with "Adult ONLY" labels like Baking Parties, and dice game nights. No chance I could or would bring Dude - so they were safe, felt like the kept our friendship alive and in reality only drove a stake through my heart. I see it for what it is now. I'm mostly ok with it. So that left me - and husband. husband is disabled so there are days when the pain medications render him a couch potato. Conversations are lacking in our home and if I did not have my dog to talk to and the rats - I would go crazy - or maybe I HAVE gone crazy and that's why I talk to the dog and the rats? (note to self check to see if the dog talks back) OH...the rats said he does. My family was small but close - and over the years - my Mom has managed to keep a lot of our traditions alive. Nothing against Dixie - but I have to get home. I think what years we have left I would like to spend with her and if my sister isn't to phobic about everything - I can deal with her once I'm there. Maybe Dude will come there? Maybe he'll go elsewhere and I hate even thinking about this past Christmas - I guess you could say the reason I couldn't abide in it - was because of my reflections from past years being to painful. I couldn't cancel the day - but it certainly wasn't the day I remember in years gone by. So I get ya - And when or IF I figure out anything other than coming here and blowing my cork once in a while to help? I'll let ya know. I guess you stay where you are comfy - and I think all of us get each other mostly - it's what brings me back - knowing that I'm not really alone - I have you all. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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