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Substance Abuse
It's been a crazy fall not in a good way.
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 569212" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Thank you ladies for your heartfelt support and kindness.</p><p></p><p>LMS, Sadly I told my Husband that if difficult child 2 was in some states this would mean 3 felonies and he would be in for life. My reality is that I am neither young or healthy and he may be in for the rest of <strong><u>my</u></strong> life.</p><p></p><p>Janet, Yes prison is America's new mental instutition and it sucks. difficult child's first parole officer (years ago now) said that he should just serve his sentance for the reason's you state. But he doesnt take our advice and begs and pleads for early release and then screws up and gets more time. It is heart wrenching. </p><p></p><p>Kathy, I do send letters and cards but it isn't the same as a face to face. Even if I do go, there will be no contact, no hope for a hug or peck on the cheek. I just have to wonder, how is that rehabilitating???? </p><p></p><p>Buddy, I try to focus on the grandkids. I have decorated, gone christmas shopping, play christmas music, and am planning our usual Christmas eve dinner. I do put on a good face but I am so dead inside. I just don't know how to get back to happy and stay there any more. I went on ADs but they screwed up my vision and had to go off them. I didn't want to stop because they did help me feel better. But the side effects were too much. Besides my vision they made me want to get high. Weird because I never used drugs or alcohol for that purpose, not ever! My doctor said he will work with me on trying natural remedies like St John's wort but then I must stay out of the sun entirely. Still trying to decide if that is good for me as I am solar powered. Talk therapy didn't help it just made me feel worse. Brought everything to the surface and there it remained. I do beter pushing it away instead of dwelling on it. I do force myself to go out and participate in activities. I have my book club and I joined another club that does good deeds and fundraisers and alike. They seem nice and I am hoping that fun will follow. My girlfriends, that I used to do things with, are now in new relationships and not as available as they were in the past. Unfortunately husband is in as bad a place as I am so I find when it is a couples thing it is like pulling teeth to get him going. He already blew off the Christmas actiity that the new club offered. He also doesn't want to visit his sister and go to NYC with them for a show and dinner this year. Not sure exaactly when but I wil probably go visit my sister after the holidays and we will visit our aunt together who was in a terrible car accident and in the hospital upstate NY for a month now. Not exactly a fun vacation but a change of scenery at least.</p><p></p><p>Recoveringenabler, I will have to consider doing that sometime in the future I am sure. It isn't the right thing for me at the moment. </p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><p style="text-align: left"><p style="margin-left: 20px">Signorina, Thank you. I am trying to figure out what is right for me. Some days I want to just leave, move out west and start over. Build a new life with no contact with anybody from this life. Probably not an unfamiliar fantasy for many of us here. -RM </p></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></p><p></span><p style="text-align: left"></p><p>-RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 569212, member: 2315"] Thank you ladies for your heartfelt support and kindness. LMS, Sadly I told my Husband that if difficult child 2 was in some states this would mean 3 felonies and he would be in for life. My reality is that I am neither young or healthy and he may be in for the rest of [B][U]my[/U][/B] life. Janet, Yes prison is America's new mental instutition and it sucks. difficult child's first parole officer (years ago now) said that he should just serve his sentance for the reason's you state. But he doesnt take our advice and begs and pleads for early release and then screws up and gets more time. It is heart wrenching. Kathy, I do send letters and cards but it isn't the same as a face to face. Even if I do go, there will be no contact, no hope for a hug or peck on the cheek. I just have to wonder, how is that rehabilitating???? Buddy, I try to focus on the grandkids. I have decorated, gone christmas shopping, play christmas music, and am planning our usual Christmas eve dinner. I do put on a good face but I am so dead inside. I just don't know how to get back to happy and stay there any more. I went on ADs but they screwed up my vision and had to go off them. I didn't want to stop because they did help me feel better. But the side effects were too much. Besides my vision they made me want to get high. Weird because I never used drugs or alcohol for that purpose, not ever! My doctor said he will work with me on trying natural remedies like St John's wort but then I must stay out of the sun entirely. Still trying to decide if that is good for me as I am solar powered. Talk therapy didn't help it just made me feel worse. Brought everything to the surface and there it remained. I do beter pushing it away instead of dwelling on it. I do force myself to go out and participate in activities. I have my book club and I joined another club that does good deeds and fundraisers and alike. They seem nice and I am hoping that fun will follow. My girlfriends, that I used to do things with, are now in new relationships and not as available as they were in the past. Unfortunately husband is in as bad a place as I am so I find when it is a couples thing it is like pulling teeth to get him going. He already blew off the Christmas actiity that the new club offered. He also doesn't want to visit his sister and go to NYC with them for a show and dinner this year. Not sure exaactly when but I wil probably go visit my sister after the holidays and we will visit our aunt together who was in a terrible car accident and in the hospital upstate NY for a month now. Not exactly a fun vacation but a change of scenery at least. Recoveringenabler, I will have to consider doing that sometime in the future I am sure. It isn't the right thing for me at the moment. [COLOR=#000000][LEFT][INDENT]Signorina, Thank you. I am trying to figure out what is right for me. Some days I want to just leave, move out west and start over. Build a new life with no contact with anybody from this life. Probably not an unfamiliar fantasy for many of us here. -RM [/INDENT] [/LEFT][/COLOR][LEFT][/LEFT] -RM [/QUOTE]
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