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It's been awhile-need to vent/worried
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 182806" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I wouldn't sweat too much about this. Kids learn te most appalling language at school, at a very young age. They don't always learn what it means.</p><p>My tack - I tell them what the words mean, in my efforts to explain why that kind of language is unacceptable, especially from a child (and especially towards a younger child).</p><p></p><p>At 11, he should know enough about the facts of life to know what the F word means. Add in the connotations of it being in an implied degrading and coarse way, and I suspect he would be horrified that he made such a suggestion to a 9 year old girl.</p><p></p><p>I still seethe when I remember getting a note home from difficult child 3's teacher when he was 9 years old. She said, "He was calling K- some very nasty names. He (difficult child 3) has got to learn that he won't have any friends at all if he calls them things like 'f****t retard". </p><p>difficult child 3 would never have heard such language at all, let alone used as an insult, in our home. But the term, especially the second word "retard", sounded very much like the sort of insults the bullies at difficult child 3's school were throwing around. I strongly suspected (from what I know of difficult child 3 and how he thinks) that he used the term back at the same kid who had used it on him, some time earlier.</p><p></p><p>So I would be thinking of the context in which difficult child used the F U message and under what circumstances he might have learned it. Who does he hang out with at school? Is he popular, or a target? Does he cope with bullies, is he a bully himself, or is he a perpetual victim? The answers modify how you respond to this problem.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 182806, member: 1991"] I wouldn't sweat too much about this. Kids learn te most appalling language at school, at a very young age. They don't always learn what it means. My tack - I tell them what the words mean, in my efforts to explain why that kind of language is unacceptable, especially from a child (and especially towards a younger child). At 11, he should know enough about the facts of life to know what the F word means. Add in the connotations of it being in an implied degrading and coarse way, and I suspect he would be horrified that he made such a suggestion to a 9 year old girl. I still seethe when I remember getting a note home from difficult child 3's teacher when he was 9 years old. She said, "He was calling K- some very nasty names. He (difficult child 3) has got to learn that he won't have any friends at all if he calls them things like 'f****t retard". difficult child 3 would never have heard such language at all, let alone used as an insult, in our home. But the term, especially the second word "retard", sounded very much like the sort of insults the bullies at difficult child 3's school were throwing around. I strongly suspected (from what I know of difficult child 3 and how he thinks) that he used the term back at the same kid who had used it on him, some time earlier. So I would be thinking of the context in which difficult child used the F U message and under what circumstances he might have learned it. Who does he hang out with at school? Is he popular, or a target? Does he cope with bullies, is he a bully himself, or is he a perpetual victim? The answers modify how you respond to this problem. Marg [/QUOTE]
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