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<blockquote data-quote="Blondiesbf" data-source="post: 456199" data-attributes="member: 12548"><p>Hubby came back from the pool after all was done. Told me he talked to the wife of a lawyer who lives just up the street. Had explained our situation with difficult child. She said all we had told him about the consequences of his DUI are true. There are additional consequences we didn't know about. difficult child thinks his first offense will not result in stiff penalties or jail time but he is wrong.</p><p></p><p>Guess I am the 'bad guy' for now. Hubby is going to make contact with difficult child and offer to take him to talk to the lawyer so he knows what we said is true...and then some. Counseling will help his case. difficult child believes he will only have to go to a drug and alcohol class...that's it. The lawyer will talk to him for free and take his case for $500 plus. If it takes a stranger to get that lightbulb in his head to turn on, I will take it. (See, there's that hope I keep chasing!)</p><p></p><p>We will NOT pay for the lawyer. difficult child will have to sell his laptop and whatever else to pay the man. We will not be monitarily burned by him again, though we can afford it. That is not the point. He needs to feel the pain of all his poor choices.</p><p></p><p>So, as it stands, hubby is the one who will remain in contact with Ricky...not me. I will no cave to the love, concern, hurt and fear that threatens to well up inside me. I suppose if one must look for a silver lining in this very dark cloud, it is that I have finally found the strength to do something that is extremely painful...but is none-the-less the right thing to do. </p><p></p><p>What a way to gain something good, right?</p><p></p><p>Thank-you all for being here. It's sadly nice to have people that understand and don't stand in judgement of me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blondiesbf, post: 456199, member: 12548"] Hubby came back from the pool after all was done. Told me he talked to the wife of a lawyer who lives just up the street. Had explained our situation with difficult child. She said all we had told him about the consequences of his DUI are true. There are additional consequences we didn't know about. difficult child thinks his first offense will not result in stiff penalties or jail time but he is wrong. Guess I am the 'bad guy' for now. Hubby is going to make contact with difficult child and offer to take him to talk to the lawyer so he knows what we said is true...and then some. Counseling will help his case. difficult child believes he will only have to go to a drug and alcohol class...that's it. The lawyer will talk to him for free and take his case for $500 plus. If it takes a stranger to get that lightbulb in his head to turn on, I will take it. (See, there's that hope I keep chasing!) We will NOT pay for the lawyer. difficult child will have to sell his laptop and whatever else to pay the man. We will not be monitarily burned by him again, though we can afford it. That is not the point. He needs to feel the pain of all his poor choices. So, as it stands, hubby is the one who will remain in contact with Ricky...not me. I will no cave to the love, concern, hurt and fear that threatens to well up inside me. I suppose if one must look for a silver lining in this very dark cloud, it is that I have finally found the strength to do something that is extremely painful...but is none-the-less the right thing to do. What a way to gain something good, right? Thank-you all for being here. It's sadly nice to have people that understand and don't stand in judgement of me. [/QUOTE]
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