Its not just at school.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wee difficult child had a babysitter from the age of about 14 months to 5 years. She is my cousin by marriage. She had 2 boys of her own, one two years older than difficult child, and one 9 months older than difficult child. She also kept another boy who was about 6 months older than difficult child named John. difficult child has not stayed with her for over 18 months now, however, if you ask him who his friends are, these 3 boys are it. Because of his fixation on them as friends and the fact that he's not attending the same school as they are, we make a point to get together with them.
    ***
    John's parents are self-employed. They've been on board with difficult child from the start and invite him over, etc, despite the problems he can create. They are great. Yesterday, they asked difficult child to spend the day with them and John. Towards mid-afternoon, difficult child lost it, and started hitting on John. They handled it, but did tell me when they brought him home. I'm glad they did, because this was also a study in the "change of scenery" theory, wondering if he were some place else besides home and school, if the behavior would be the same.
    ***
    It was. Just thought I'd share.
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sounds like he's pretty consistent with behaviors regardless of the setting -- and even if he held it together for the first part of the play date, he was likely tiring and his coping skills were waning by the time the hitting started.

    I guess you can say it's good to know he's consistent, and it's not just on your watch that things happen.
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Can you see any pattern at all? (Same period of day, or during process of switching gears, or when being told "no", etc)
     
  4. Christy

    Christy New Member

    On one hand, at least you know it isn't something you or the school is doing to set him off. On the other hand, it is easier for you or the school to make changes then it is for difficult child to change. Maybe trying to build some coping strategies or role-playing difficult situations may help? Keeping playdates short will probably help but I know you wanted to see how he would do in a new situation in this case. Glad John's parents are supportive and difficult child has some pals.


    Good Luck,
    Christy
     
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    I think it's probably good that the behavior is consistent because it should be easier to figure out what the triggers are. I agree that keeping playdates short is a good idea.

    Mine was the oppositve: street angel/house devil.

    It's good that you are figuring out these things early.

    These folks sound like good friends. I'm glad they handled it well.

    Hugs,
    ML
     
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