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I've been told it's time to take care of me....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 256908" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry things are so rough. Maybe some of the in-home people should be given housework to do and the dog to care for? Can the bills be set up on auto-pay to cut down the time that chore takes?</p><p></p><p>What about having kt stay in respite? It would give you a small break. Or have her in home people stay overnight while you go to a hotel and get a massage and relax for a couple of nights?</p><p></p><p>It sounds like it is NOT the time to have wm visit you at home. You are not physically strong enough to deal with the emotions and behaviors that would be involved in having him refuse to leave and be taken out forcefully. And you could get hurt.</p><p></p><p>Give the people making these demands on your time a copy of your schedule. Ask them where you can fit anything else in with-o going crazy. Ask them what THEY will do to support YOU so that you CAN do the things you need to do.</p><p></p><p>Maybe one of your SUPPORTIVE family members can come visit for a week or 2 and take some of the chores off your hands?</p><p></p><p>Are most of your medications ones you take every month on a long term basis? Can you work with a local pharmacy to deliver medications on a schedule? I know some pharmacies will autofill prescriptions and send them to you via delivery person or even the US Mail. They just fill them every month on the same day as long as there are refills. They also contact the doctor a week before the refill is due to get authorization for a new prescription.</p><p></p><p>Two local pharmacies here offer these services. They have just about cornered the assisted living facility medication market AND the busy 2 working parent family medication market also. It would save you time and energy once it is set up.</p><p></p><p>Have the in-home people let the dog out to potty. Mabye make a walk with the dog part of your therapy routine (even if it is just around the front yard). Have the in-homes or kt feed the cat. Cats will cuddle with you on their terms. So except for flea medications and other medications, they will care for themselves. </p><p></p><p>HIRE someone to clean the house if you don't have someone already!! Even if it is just for a month or two, have them come in on a weekly or 2 times a week basis to deal with stuff.</p><p></p><p>The in-homes have queries, etc.... Do they know their jobs? Do YOU know their jobs? Have someone pick up a 3 copy carbonless receipt pad for you. Have the in-homes write down their non-urgent questions on the pad. They leave the pad in a set place. When you have time to deal with the questions (all at once, or at 2 or 3 times in a day, say 8 am, noon and 7 pm?) you WRITE the answers down on the pad. Then YOU take a copy, the in-home gets their copy and one copy stays in the book for reference. It can stop them from asking the same ?? over and over - they can look it up. It is a way for you to keep track of the questions AND your answers. </p><p></p><p>It also stops them from interrupting you constantly as you try to cope with the enormous load you are carrying.</p><p></p><p>These are just things we did to cope at times. The notepad is something my mom did with us when I was in jr high and high school. She was dealing with the onset of a chronic illness, the onset of MY chronic illness, and a lot of other stuff, including my gfgbro and his antics. It really helped us a LOT.</p><p></p><p>The notebook is on the idea of he communication books we send to school with our kids to have the teacher answer questions, give progress reports, etc...</p><p></p><p>Whatever happens, PLEASE take care of yourself!! You are a very special lady who is under incredible burdens. I want you to see a happy, healthy kt achieve success in life and a career, a wm who makes good, safe choices, and all the wonderful things the future carries. I don't want to hear about your funeral or long term stay in a hospital and rehab center. I don't want you to have that kind of pain. You have more than enough pain already.</p><p></p><p>We all love you, Linda. So do many, many other people. PLEASE take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>Gentle, gentle hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 256908, member: 1233"] I am sorry things are so rough. Maybe some of the in-home people should be given housework to do and the dog to care for? Can the bills be set up on auto-pay to cut down the time that chore takes? What about having kt stay in respite? It would give you a small break. Or have her in home people stay overnight while you go to a hotel and get a massage and relax for a couple of nights? It sounds like it is NOT the time to have wm visit you at home. You are not physically strong enough to deal with the emotions and behaviors that would be involved in having him refuse to leave and be taken out forcefully. And you could get hurt. Give the people making these demands on your time a copy of your schedule. Ask them where you can fit anything else in with-o going crazy. Ask them what THEY will do to support YOU so that you CAN do the things you need to do. Maybe one of your SUPPORTIVE family members can come visit for a week or 2 and take some of the chores off your hands? Are most of your medications ones you take every month on a long term basis? Can you work with a local pharmacy to deliver medications on a schedule? I know some pharmacies will autofill prescriptions and send them to you via delivery person or even the US Mail. They just fill them every month on the same day as long as there are refills. They also contact the doctor a week before the refill is due to get authorization for a new prescription. Two local pharmacies here offer these services. They have just about cornered the assisted living facility medication market AND the busy 2 working parent family medication market also. It would save you time and energy once it is set up. Have the in-home people let the dog out to potty. Mabye make a walk with the dog part of your therapy routine (even if it is just around the front yard). Have the in-homes or kt feed the cat. Cats will cuddle with you on their terms. So except for flea medications and other medications, they will care for themselves. HIRE someone to clean the house if you don't have someone already!! Even if it is just for a month or two, have them come in on a weekly or 2 times a week basis to deal with stuff. The in-homes have queries, etc.... Do they know their jobs? Do YOU know their jobs? Have someone pick up a 3 copy carbonless receipt pad for you. Have the in-homes write down their non-urgent questions on the pad. They leave the pad in a set place. When you have time to deal with the questions (all at once, or at 2 or 3 times in a day, say 8 am, noon and 7 pm?) you WRITE the answers down on the pad. Then YOU take a copy, the in-home gets their copy and one copy stays in the book for reference. It can stop them from asking the same ?? over and over - they can look it up. It is a way for you to keep track of the questions AND your answers. It also stops them from interrupting you constantly as you try to cope with the enormous load you are carrying. These are just things we did to cope at times. The notepad is something my mom did with us when I was in jr high and high school. She was dealing with the onset of a chronic illness, the onset of MY chronic illness, and a lot of other stuff, including my gfgbro and his antics. It really helped us a LOT. The notebook is on the idea of he communication books we send to school with our kids to have the teacher answer questions, give progress reports, etc... Whatever happens, PLEASE take care of yourself!! You are a very special lady who is under incredible burdens. I want you to see a happy, healthy kt achieve success in life and a career, a wm who makes good, safe choices, and all the wonderful things the future carries. I don't want to hear about your funeral or long term stay in a hospital and rehab center. I don't want you to have that kind of pain. You have more than enough pain already. We all love you, Linda. So do many, many other people. PLEASE take care of yourself. Gentle, gentle hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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