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Substance Abuse
I've kicked my difficult child out and it's killing me!
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 70274" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Maybe it will help to hear my story.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child (daughter) was a total easy child until she hit 13. Then the nightmare years began. The worst years were 17 - 19. She was drinking and smoking pot and I heard from the grapevine that she was using other drugs. </p><p></p><p>She made our homelife hell. At 19, she left after an explosive exit and we would not let her back into our home. She lived in an apartment, got evicted, lived with a difficult child friend's family, slept in her car in our driveway when we wouldn't let her back home, and finally ended up in a rundown house with a bunch of difficult children for a while.</p><p></p><p>At 20, she asked to come back home and said she wanted to "change." That included going back to college. We let her come home with rules and counseling. She started back to school and had a part time job. She soon dropped 3 out of the four classes (without telling us) and continued to work. Right before she turned 21, I found pot in her room and two empty alcohol bottles. That was it. We told her she had to leave and she did.</p><p></p><p>Since then, she has successfully lived on her own. She has roommates (who actually have jobs), pays her own bills, and recently has started back to college full time. Best of all, she has made a concerted effort to build a relationship with us again.</p><p></p><p>Living on her own forced her to grow up. She knows that coming back here to live is not an option. She turned 22 in May and I think that she is finally getting it.</p><p></p><p>She's still self-centered and I think she still parties on weekends. But if she holds down a job, lives independently, and goes to college, I think that she is doing well.</p><p></p><p>If we had let her continue to live here, I don't think she would have made that kind of progress. Sometimes you just have to kick the bird out of the nest.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and we heard all of that stuff, too ~ she hated us, wouldn't ever talk to us again, that we would be sorry because we would never see our grandchildren, yada, yada, yada. </p><p></p><p>All that is in the past. Now she hugs me whenever she sees me and regularly tells me that she loves me. I never thought that day would come.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 70274, member: 1967"] Maybe it will help to hear my story. My difficult child (daughter) was a total easy child until she hit 13. Then the nightmare years began. The worst years were 17 - 19. She was drinking and smoking pot and I heard from the grapevine that she was using other drugs. She made our homelife hell. At 19, she left after an explosive exit and we would not let her back into our home. She lived in an apartment, got evicted, lived with a difficult child friend's family, slept in her car in our driveway when we wouldn't let her back home, and finally ended up in a rundown house with a bunch of difficult children for a while. At 20, she asked to come back home and said she wanted to "change." That included going back to college. We let her come home with rules and counseling. She started back to school and had a part time job. She soon dropped 3 out of the four classes (without telling us) and continued to work. Right before she turned 21, I found pot in her room and two empty alcohol bottles. That was it. We told her she had to leave and she did. Since then, she has successfully lived on her own. She has roommates (who actually have jobs), pays her own bills, and recently has started back to college full time. Best of all, she has made a concerted effort to build a relationship with us again. Living on her own forced her to grow up. She knows that coming back here to live is not an option. She turned 22 in May and I think that she is finally getting it. She's still self-centered and I think she still parties on weekends. But if she holds down a job, lives independently, and goes to college, I think that she is doing well. If we had let her continue to live here, I don't think she would have made that kind of progress. Sometimes you just have to kick the bird out of the nest. Oh, and we heard all of that stuff, too ~ she hated us, wouldn't ever talk to us again, that we would be sorry because we would never see our grandchildren, yada, yada, yada. All that is in the past. Now she hugs me whenever she sees me and regularly tells me that she loves me. I never thought that day would come. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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I've kicked my difficult child out and it's killing me!
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