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I've never met daughter in law's family. Anyone else?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 300668" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I'm with the person who suggested daughter in law may be embarassed by her family. </p><p></p><p>I've been with S/O for near to 5 years now. My mother met his sister a few times (a fluke) and his mother once (also a fluke). I ensured the time they were near my mother was SHORT. I never plan events for both sides to join in. Not even holidays, birthdays, graduations, etc. I tend to have 3 family get togethers for special occassions. I have one with all of my extended family, from time to time I do something with my mother and brother (who are not in touch with extended family) and then another with any of S/O's family that are available. </p><p></p><p>We are getting married next year. It will NOT be a "event" despite my dreams of a perfect (though small) wedding. Simply because melding my mother and brother with my other family or S/O's family would completely ruin MY day. Instead we are going to plan something on a holiday somewhere with difficult child and easy child. We will probably host a luncheon for my extended family and S/O's family together when we return, but will "oops" and "forget" to mention it to my mother or brother. It is like walking on eggshells making plans in my world. To merge everyone would cause me alot of pain and shame and stress/anxiety. Been there done that, and I've done written the book and don't plan to repeat any of it again.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find a way to detach emotionally from the situation with your daughter in law. Its sad when we want a good relationship with someone, but we can't force them to reciprocate those desires. (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 300668, member: 4264"] I'm with the person who suggested daughter in law may be embarassed by her family. I've been with S/O for near to 5 years now. My mother met his sister a few times (a fluke) and his mother once (also a fluke). I ensured the time they were near my mother was SHORT. I never plan events for both sides to join in. Not even holidays, birthdays, graduations, etc. I tend to have 3 family get togethers for special occassions. I have one with all of my extended family, from time to time I do something with my mother and brother (who are not in touch with extended family) and then another with any of S/O's family that are available. We are getting married next year. It will NOT be a "event" despite my dreams of a perfect (though small) wedding. Simply because melding my mother and brother with my other family or S/O's family would completely ruin MY day. Instead we are going to plan something on a holiday somewhere with difficult child and easy child. We will probably host a luncheon for my extended family and S/O's family together when we return, but will "oops" and "forget" to mention it to my mother or brother. It is like walking on eggshells making plans in my world. To merge everyone would cause me alot of pain and shame and stress/anxiety. Been there done that, and I've done written the book and don't plan to repeat any of it again. I hope you can find a way to detach emotionally from the situation with your daughter in law. Its sad when we want a good relationship with someone, but we can't force them to reciprocate those desires. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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I've never met daughter in law's family. Anyone else?
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