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<blockquote data-quote="standswithcourage" data-source="post: 100381" data-attributes="member: 3948"><p>thanks to you and a lot of other posters! I really appreciate your encouragement but it seems still so hard for me. The fact that I still feel a loss hasnt gone away. I am trying for his sake and because I just cant do it anymmore. I cant try to find that fix that I seemed to be trying to find. All the time I felt it was up to me to keep him from going to prison because I didnt want him to go there or feel like he could survive it. Some days I still feel that way but going to see him and realizing he is an adult not a child but a different perspective on it. Sometimes I feel that he really didnt mean to probably get caught nor did he think about what he was doiing. I tried to tell him over and over. The temptation was too strong I guess from that kid that he couldnt resist. I went back and looked at p ictures with my daughter on Thanksgiving of our family when they were little. We talked about the fun times but didnt mention these days. I wonder what I could have done differently. Mothers are supposed to protect their children and keep them from harm - I know he is not a child anymore but his actions made me think he still was. Maybe that was the problem - I was treating himi like a child. Please keep praying for me. thanks :angel:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="standswithcourage, post: 100381, member: 3948"] thanks to you and a lot of other posters! I really appreciate your encouragement but it seems still so hard for me. The fact that I still feel a loss hasnt gone away. I am trying for his sake and because I just cant do it anymmore. I cant try to find that fix that I seemed to be trying to find. All the time I felt it was up to me to keep him from going to prison because I didnt want him to go there or feel like he could survive it. Some days I still feel that way but going to see him and realizing he is an adult not a child but a different perspective on it. Sometimes I feel that he really didnt mean to probably get caught nor did he think about what he was doiing. I tried to tell him over and over. The temptation was too strong I guess from that kid that he couldnt resist. I went back and looked at p ictures with my daughter on Thanksgiving of our family when they were little. We talked about the fun times but didnt mention these days. I wonder what I could have done differently. Mothers are supposed to protect their children and keep them from harm - I know he is not a child anymore but his actions made me think he still was. Maybe that was the problem - I was treating himi like a child. Please keep praying for me. thanks [img]:angel:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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