jealousy over the counselor?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mom23gsfg, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    omg hub is so jealous over bubba's new counselor,UGH! the youth center they gave him another counselor that will help him get to his reg appointments and take him places to try to befriend him so he will open up more......taffy has one also but of course she has the female so that doesnt bother him....:rolleyes:
    so far he has tried to stop his counseling because of this (which is way out of line)and he goes into the bathroom to see what lotion i used that day UGH! ...(i wear lotion every day! ) he has also been trying to tell me i told him i was allergic to eyeliner and never wore it until 2 wks ago (i have wore the stuff since i was 12 or 13!)
    and to be perfectly honest even if i was that type of person to fool around (which i'm not) it wouldnt be with the therapist and even if he wasnt not my type ....
    it is getting pretty annoying!although somewhat funny to watch him running around sniffing all my lotion ......
    now the lil :devil: is getting my mind working ....hes telling me to take and put a suprise in one of the bottles for him to any ideas? ....mmmm... maybe some deer scent ?
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Vinegar is cheap and easy.

    But ... is he like this with-other people you know? What made this happen? I'm glad you're taking it all in stride.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Your husband is jealous because he thinks you will cheat with your child's counsellor? WHat is your husband doing with his time all day? Is it ALL accounted for? has he always been jealous of any man you talk to, or is this new? If it is new, Iwould be checking his phone and email. Just what I have seen friends go through, when hubby suddenly gets very jealous, esp over something so small, then it can mean the hubby is not doing what he should. I am sorry to have to suggest this, but it is very common.


  4. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    actually he has pretty much been jealous... but not this bad! he started in on this from the moment i found out about this new one, before i ever even met the man..:rolleyes:...
    and yes ive thought of that too,... my mom always told me that the one accusing is ussually the one doing....
    update: now things are really getting wierd and it is making me lose control, im about to start :clubbing: his head! :grrr: touchy subject for me but here goes, ....when i was 7 i was molested by a real older cousin of mine ,which kept me at a distance from the rest of my family because since this was my mom's sister's son he was invited to many of my other familys' homes for holidays and ect. ,so i would not attend, somewhere along the way evryone just kept saying get over it but my hatred grew, it affected all of my relationships (family and otherwise)it was eating me up inside ... i became a very angry person and distrustful of everyone , i couldnt work or sleep for fear of someone hurting my kids....i finally went and sought help...and what i realized i was going to have to forgive this man for myself not him so i could go on with my life ....i had to let go of the hatred...
    he has been in and out of jail for various reasons through out the years and i later learned he was molested himself by his dad when he was young i wrote him a letter requesting to see him while he was in jail...he tried to talk to me like anyone else but , i just looked him in the eye and said i forgive you (which he looked at me like what for? ...he is a big alcholic,and addict so maybe he really didnt know what i was speaking of... the only time he is clean is in jail.) and i left...i felt as if a big wieght was gone off of me...never heard another word from him...
    well 2 yrs ago he got out (for whole week until he got into trouble once again), but he had gotten my number from another family member, and called and just told me about his new fiance and said if i ever did anything to hurt you im sorry. and that was it .
    meanwhile last night i meantioned to hub lastnight i had ran into my aunt at the store and then he starts....
    qoute hub: what id like to know is why you even speak to her
    me:she hasnt done anything to me
    hub:look at what she raised
    me:thats not her fault she tried her best to keep him outa trouble, and you know it breaks her heart...(this woman does know about what happened and believed me but of course like any other mother still loves her child)
    hub:well what id like to know is how you could forgive that sick b**tard, and id like to know why he called here that one time.seems funny to me...
    me: i told you why and it wasnt you it was me so leave it alone its not her fault.
    hub:well id like to know what reallly went on
    me:what do you mean?
    hub:i believe something was going on between you two
    ....:grrr: :grrr: what the *****! i was 7! and he was an adult! youre the one with the sick mind to say something like that!

    okay so now we are not on speaking terms, ive had enough of this! my mom said she would go and get a loan for me to be able to leave (since i cant get one)but she cant until june due to another loan she has .so this is really making my nerves on edge and now he is making fun of me for taking my medications and of course bubba hears this now he refuses to take his.this is just too much:sad:
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree. Your husband was way out of line. He's wacko.
    So sorry.
    You need support, not aggravation not only from people who don't "get it," but from people who can just be plain courteous and empathetic.
    Be strong.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'd say he's dang lucky you didn't take a frying to the side of his head. Maybe that would knock some sense into him.

    The man needs counseling and he needs it NOW! To be so jealous and so insecure that he'd try to blame a 7 YO for an adult's actions is beyond words.

    I hope he finds a way to get out of this mode of thinking. It is sad, sick and pathetic. It is hurting you, your children, your life. I'm glad that your mom is going to try to help you. I'm so sorry you are going through this -- no human deserves the comments he has made.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Meowbunny expressed my thoughts better than I could have.

  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Have you spoken to a lawyer yet or are you going to move out first?
    Best of luck. I'm behind you and your son 100%.
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    First of all {{{{{hugs}}}}}.
    I know how hard it is to get through each day when you have that level of tension and stress between your H and you. been there done that with my ex-H, including not speaking.

    If you are determined to leave, and you are stuck staying put for the next couple of months, it is the perfect time to make your plans and get all your ducks in a row.

    For example:
    - Don't talk about leaving, especially in front of your H. You want the opportunity to get all your plans in place, and not have him pull the rug out from under you.
    - Put together ALL important papers and other documents that you might need, such as birth certificates, ID, house title documents, medical info for yourself and your children...whatever is important to you. If you can, make copies. Put the originals somewhere safe, outside the house, such as a safe deposit box
    - Start thinking about your finances. Make a budget. Think about how much money you and your children will need to live on, and determine how you're going to finance that
    - Speak to a lawyer, just to find out your options, the rules, what you are required to do and what you are entitled to
    - Speak to a counsellor, line up a therapist or whatever you need to do. Make sure you have a good support network around you.

    When you have all your plans in place, THAT is the time to leave. You don't want to just walk out, without having a clear idea of where you're going and what you're going to do when you do leave.

    Just my thoughts, based on experience of working really hard to save a bad marriage, before waking up to the fact that it just wasn't worth saving.

  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Excellent, Trinity.

    Hugs, Mom23.