Jef Kahn Intro Post, 12/19/07

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SRL, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Jef, I moved your post here to a new thread, so as not to confuse the other parent's seeking help and your's. SRL

    Posted by Jef Kahn, 12/19/07
    "Whats with this Opositional Defiant Disorder label. Now Ive seen it all and enough is enough. All children can be oppositional, and defiant. When the heck did it become a disorder instead of a personality trait or just a problem they are moving through. Are they prescribing medications for personality variances now?. I hope not! Its kinda like this. If I like to drink alot of water am I going to be diagnosed with a repetative aquafiliac disorder.
    The issue here is specifically when did personality variances become labeled as disorders as though it were a genetic fluke or a strongly seperate and identifyable anomolee instead of just a bump a kids trying to get over with. Let alone the label they get when they're introduced to the supportive community as my son Bod he has ODD. I say B.S. Tourettes is a disorder for example. Being difficult to control is not a disorder for crying out loud."
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm not even going to go there. I'm wondering why anyone who thinks mental illness doesn't exist is even posting here. It's scary that some people don't believe it exists.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Jef! I am a little curious here. Midwest Mom is correct in saying that its a strange place for you to be posting.

    Has someone that you're dealing with have an ODD diagnosis? Here's the difference between ODD and a kid with an attitude.

    A kid with an attitude can stop when they don't get thier way. Depending on their age, the "opposition" is appropriate. Terrible twos, the "why" threes, quick tantrums at 4, constant questioning until you're blue in the face. It happens on the occasion and discipline results in eventual correction of the behavior.

    ODD - whoa! They kick and scream until they literally drop from exhaustion. Some days it's morning noon and night. The slightest thing (sometimes even a misplaced "I love you") will bug them out so completely that you are dumbfounded. Discipline most often results in one of two things. Continuation/escalation or a repeat of the offense in a more offensive way.

    The problem is that ODD rarely stands alone. It's usually a manifestation of another issue. I've got one who has Aspergers syndrome (a high functioning type of autism) who will on the most glorious day outside, will fight you to the death that it's going to rain ANY MINUTE NOW!

    So before you set your mind that ODD is a crock, take a true look at whomever ended up with landing you here and ask yourself the question "could I do something to help or am I mired in my opinion so much that I won't bother".

    All of this is said with absolute respect and nonjudgementally. Take a deep look and see!

  4. jef kahn

    jef kahn New Member

    I understand now that ODD isnt a stand alone. It makes perfect sense to me. The reason I came here was because Im having problems with my 25 year old son who has a handful of conduct disorders. I have always strived to recognize the difference between a disorder ands a personality trait in this the modern world of labels and diagosis', and I do clearly understand ODD as a secondary diagnosis. Thank you for the enligtenment. If anyone can help this parent figure out a way or a messageboard to go to so I dont have to gag when ever my son calls me on the phone with his HIV+, meth-addicted, gay and lying poor me deal I would appreciate it a sIm sure that lies outside the scope of this messageboard
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Try posting on our parent emeritus sub-forum on our site, many of those parents have lived or are living what you are now. The particular sub-forum you are in now is intended for early childhood. Good luck.
  6. jef kahn

    jef kahn New Member

    Ah I see noe that is for 5 year ols and youner. How do I get to emeritus sub forum??
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Just go to "Forums List" at the top of the page, click and scroll down. One of the forums is "Parent Emeritus". Click on that, click on "New Thread" and type away!

    Welcome to the crowd, it's a good bunch of people!

  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Why don't you post on Parent Emiterus? To me it's different when kids are grown, especially if substance abuse is involved.
  9. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    Hi Jef,

    It doesn't look as tho you have made it over to the forum for our adult "kids." Here's the clickable link: Parent Emeritus Give it a try and see if it is your cup of tea ..... and welcome to the boards here.