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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 183081" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I heard one joke and was told the other. I hope they give a chuckle to start the week off with!</p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">A married man was having an affair with his secretary.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">He put on his shoes and drove home.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Where have you been? his wife demanded.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I cant lie to you, he replied, Im having an affair with my secretary. We were together sex all afternoon.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">She looked down at his shoes and said:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You lying idiot! Youve been playing golf! </span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">(I did remove the censored words.)</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits was breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, This bull mated 50 times last year.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, He mated 50 times last year.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">T</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">hey walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, This bull mated 120 times last year.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The wife hit her husband again and said, Thats more than twice a week! You could learn from him.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, This bull mated 365 times last year.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The wife got really excited and said, Thats once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this big fella.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The husband looked at her and said, Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>The husbands condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.</strong></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Anyone else have a joke to share??<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 183081, member: 1233"] I heard one joke and was told the other. I hope they give a chuckle to start the week off with! [FONT=Verdana]A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. Where have you been? his wife demanded. I cant lie to you, he replied, Im having an affair with my secretary. We were together sex all afternoon. She looked down at his shoes and said: You lying idiot! Youve been playing golf! [/FONT][FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial](I did remove the censored words.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits was breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, This bull mated 50 times last year. The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, He mated 50 times last year. T hey walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, This bull mated 120 times last year. The wife hit her husband again and said, Thats more than twice a week! You could learn from him. They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, This bull mated 365 times last year. The wife got really excited and said, Thats once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this big fella. The husband looked at her and said, Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow. [B]The husbands condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.[/B] Anyone else have a joke to share??:funny: [/FONT][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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