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<blockquote data-quote="Methuselah" data-source="post: 456973" data-attributes="member: 12725"><p>I'm sorry you had to go through this, too. They hadn't been moved around a lot, so we thought we would be ok. Before we adopted the sibling group, we had a boy in our home who, by the age of 6, had been 6 foster homes. :-/ He fondled Screamo and we had him removed. We learned to look at placements...</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 isn't attached at all. She can't attach to anyone really. She has very intense, but shallow, short lived friendships. She has never acknowledged my husband when he travels for business. Never. I asked her why a few months ago, and she said "why would I ask; he's gone." It was said matter of factly. difficult child 2 is attached, I think. Maybe not as she should but some what. She will ask when my husband is coming back and will miss him when he is gone. She just believes if she wants something...an object, money, attention...she has the right to take it. She doesnt care it caused harm to someone else, hurt someone else; that she conned them and used them to get what she wants. She wants it and that makes everything ok. </p><p></p><p>No one believes what we are saying as the truth until they are caught doing something, which is rare. Not bc they don't do anything, but bc they are <em>good</em> and bc people see them as normal, kind, mannerly kids. They work really hard at perfecting this charming, good persona. It's a weird con. difficult child 1 is the best at morphing the truth or creating an all out lie to present herself as an innocent victim and not the perpetrator. I use this (fictional) example: "hey guys, my house blew up and I have no where to live." People around her would say "That's so sad. You poor thing!" She would leave out the truth: "hey guys, I intentionally lit dynamite in my house, and my house blew up! Now, I have no place to live." She would have the people around her saying, "idiot" not opening their doors. She doesn't do it to garner attention, she does it to hide the bad behavior from those around her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Methuselah, post: 456973, member: 12725"] I'm sorry you had to go through this, too. They hadn't been moved around a lot, so we thought we would be ok. Before we adopted the sibling group, we had a boy in our home who, by the age of 6, had been 6 foster homes. :-/ He fondled Screamo and we had him removed. We learned to look at placements... difficult child 1 isn't attached at all. She can't attach to anyone really. She has very intense, but shallow, short lived friendships. She has never acknowledged my husband when he travels for business. Never. I asked her why a few months ago, and she said "why would I ask; he's gone." It was said matter of factly. difficult child 2 is attached, I think. Maybe not as she should but some what. She will ask when my husband is coming back and will miss him when he is gone. She just believes if she wants something...an object, money, attention...she has the right to take it. She doesnt care it caused harm to someone else, hurt someone else; that she conned them and used them to get what she wants. She wants it and that makes everything ok. No one believes what we are saying as the truth until they are caught doing something, which is rare. Not bc they don't do anything, but bc they are [I]good[/I] and bc people see them as normal, kind, mannerly kids. They work really hard at perfecting this charming, good persona. It's a weird con. difficult child 1 is the best at morphing the truth or creating an all out lie to present herself as an innocent victim and not the perpetrator. I use this (fictional) example: "hey guys, my house blew up and I have no where to live." People around her would say "That's so sad. You poor thing!" She would leave out the truth: "hey guys, I intentionally lit dynamite in my house, and my house blew up! Now, I have no place to live." She would have the people around her saying, "idiot" not opening their doors. She doesn't do it to garner attention, she does it to hide the bad behavior from those around her. [/QUOTE]
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