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Judging difficult child's - why do I do this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 138752" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Just a vent. </p><p> </p><p>I let myself get sucked into this way too many times. </p><p> </p><p>I belong to a group of women who had babies the same time as difficult child 2 was born. There's one in the group who is ultra-religious, stay at home mom, with perfect kids. She recently had a neice diagnosed with a birth defect and emailed the whole group about it. She was worried about people staring and being mean, and I told her that you'll have that, but you'll also meet a lot of people along the way that have this defect or deal with it daily, and they'll come real close to making up for the a-holes out there. She asked how I knew, and I was stupid and answered. Dumb me, just trying to be nice and say she'll find some positives in this...</p><p> </p><p>And here's her "non-judging reply". Why do I do this to myself??? I know better then to attempt to converse with this woman.</p><p> </p><p>> Why does your kid have seizures and fits?</p><p>> Maybe some people just don't know he has that</p><p>> condition. There are so many kids that throw fits</p><p>> for no reasons nowadays, it is hard to be around. I</p><p>> have seen kids my daughter's age hitting a parent in the</p><p>> face in a fit! Maybe they had some reason for it, I</p><p>> don't know. I don't think it is good to compare at</p><p>> all with other peope because we all fall short of</p><p>> the Christ's glory. On the other hand, I try and</p><p>> avoid fit throwers. I was trying to help my friend</p><p>> once in a public setting and she said I could give</p><p>> her son a certain kind of juice (they are big on</p><p>> organic stuff, etc). The chid threw a fit when I</p><p>> gave him the drink. I thought he might hurt himself.</p><p>> He demanded I give him something his mom did not</p><p>> autorize me to give him. Instead of having him frail</p><p>> his arms, around me, I simply walked away. It is sad</p><p>> the child has not learned self control. I am not</p><p>> judging him but worry he will hurt himself. Other</p><p>> kids, out of control (without a valid reason),</p><p>> usually hurt my kids. The same</p><p>> night, the girl (the one I babysat) jumped on</p><p>> my daughter's head. My daughter NEVER cries, she is tough as</p><p>> nails physically, but this lightweight girl bent</p><p>> my daughter's neck down and really hurt her. My daughter was</p><p>> crying! And the kids also knocked down my other's</p><p>> friend newly walking son-without any sorrys. It is</p><p>> always a room of screaming and running, which my</p><p>> kids will not do. I have gotten to the point of not</p><p>> being able to be around such kids to protect my</p><p>> children. Again, these kids have no reasons to be</p><p>> this way other than lack of guidance and focusing on</p><p>> others, instead of self. </p><p>> Anyway, I just had to point that out. No, it is</p><p>> not good to be judemental but it is proper to</p><p>> discern right from wrong, and protect one's own</p><p>> children. </p><p>> I could go on about my daughter being punched in the</p><p>> face by her cousin and my other daughter getting hit</p><p>> repeatidely in the face with a wooden train at a</p><p>> friend's house (was highly upsetting to me). but I</p><p>> have learned that I am not the parent of other</p><p>> people's kids but I will not have certain chidren</p><p>> around my own. Less bloodshed that way</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 138752, member: 1848"] Just a vent. I let myself get sucked into this way too many times. I belong to a group of women who had babies the same time as difficult child 2 was born. There's one in the group who is ultra-religious, stay at home mom, with perfect kids. She recently had a neice diagnosed with a birth defect and emailed the whole group about it. She was worried about people staring and being mean, and I told her that you'll have that, but you'll also meet a lot of people along the way that have this defect or deal with it daily, and they'll come real close to making up for the a-holes out there. She asked how I knew, and I was stupid and answered. Dumb me, just trying to be nice and say she'll find some positives in this... And here's her "non-judging reply". Why do I do this to myself??? I know better then to attempt to converse with this woman. > Why does your kid have seizures and fits? > Maybe some people just don't know he has that > condition. There are so many kids that throw fits > for no reasons nowadays, it is hard to be around. I > have seen kids my daughter's age hitting a parent in the > face in a fit! Maybe they had some reason for it, I > don't know. I don't think it is good to compare at > all with other peope because we all fall short of > the Christ's glory. On the other hand, I try and > avoid fit throwers. I was trying to help my friend > once in a public setting and she said I could give > her son a certain kind of juice (they are big on > organic stuff, etc). The chid threw a fit when I > gave him the drink. I thought he might hurt himself. > He demanded I give him something his mom did not > autorize me to give him. Instead of having him frail > his arms, around me, I simply walked away. It is sad > the child has not learned self control. I am not > judging him but worry he will hurt himself. Other > kids, out of control (without a valid reason), > usually hurt my kids. The same > night, the girl (the one I babysat) jumped on > my daughter's head. My daughter NEVER cries, she is tough as > nails physically, but this lightweight girl bent > my daughter's neck down and really hurt her. My daughter was > crying! And the kids also knocked down my other's > friend newly walking son-without any sorrys. It is > always a room of screaming and running, which my > kids will not do. I have gotten to the point of not > being able to be around such kids to protect my > children. Again, these kids have no reasons to be > this way other than lack of guidance and focusing on > others, instead of self. > Anyway, I just had to point that out. No, it is > not good to be judemental but it is proper to > discern right from wrong, and protect one's own > children. > I could go on about my daughter being punched in the > face by her cousin and my other daughter getting hit > repeatidely in the face with a wooden train at a > friend's house (was highly upsetting to me). but I > have learned that I am not the parent of other > people's kids but I will not have certain chidren > around my own. Less bloodshed that way [/QUOTE]
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