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Parent Emeritus
Just a minor vent
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 236255" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Thank you, Star. You have no idea how much your post helped me. It's so hard these days, watching Youngest get her stuff together and change her life when really, she was in a more desparate place 3 years ago than Oldest ever has been. Oldest is more of a slow burn... with flash fires ... that just neer completely goes out, kind of like a pile of old tires.</p><p></p><p>I keep going back to what the psychiatrist said months ago, that I shared here and feel the need to share again, if not only to remind myself in writing (so forgive me for repeating). Paraphrased.. "You gave both of your girls the tools with which to make their lives work. Youngest eventually took those tools and used them. Oldest screams, "NO, I don't want THOSE TOOLS! Give me the ONES I WANT!" </p><p></p><p>It's a great analogy, and so true. She just doesn't want it any way but her way. Helping her wont help her, not really, not in the long term. Sometimes, not even in the short term.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 236255, member: 1157"] Thank you, Star. You have no idea how much your post helped me. It's so hard these days, watching Youngest get her stuff together and change her life when really, she was in a more desparate place 3 years ago than Oldest ever has been. Oldest is more of a slow burn... with flash fires ... that just neer completely goes out, kind of like a pile of old tires. I keep going back to what the psychiatrist said months ago, that I shared here and feel the need to share again, if not only to remind myself in writing (so forgive me for repeating). Paraphrased.. "You gave both of your girls the tools with which to make their lives work. Youngest eventually took those tools and used them. Oldest screams, "NO, I don't want THOSE TOOLS! Give me the ONES I WANT!" It's a great analogy, and so true. She just doesn't want it any way but her way. Helping her wont help her, not really, not in the long term. Sometimes, not even in the short term. [/QUOTE]
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