Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Just Another Morning in Paradise...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="addie" data-source="post: 515666" data-attributes="member: 140"><p>Oh dear, I am so sorry - but you SO described mornings here ( we are on spring break so have a reprieve). It's the 15 yr old. She is seriously developmentally delayed in so many ways, as in she can hardly sign her own name and only fairly recently became able to form whole (simple) sentences. But attitude! And dressing to draw male attention ( cos the only time she dresses that way is when there are going to males around, and we are SO afraid for her and her desperate need for acceptance), and laziness, and oppositionality! All of those are 'age appropriate' IF she was functioning at 15 yrs. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I have no advice, just lots of empathy. I have dropped the expectations right down to four simple things:</p><p>- take your medications (we give them to her when we wake her up, adderal)</p><p>- brush your teeth</p><p>- put the elastics on your braces</p><p>- brush and put your hair in a pony tail.</p><p></p><p>The cussing and swearing that comes from that room until the medications kick in!!!!!!</p><p>AND - in spite of being on depo provera, Heaven help us, she still PMSs, though I have an appointment to look into that.</p><p>And often and often it is because I or husband did not wake her up the way she wanted to be woken up. Which is how????</p><p>Also often because she wants a bath when she KNOWS the rule is she takes her bath or shower at night because she takes so long, and her van is arriving in 10 minutes.</p><p></p><p>I handle upstairs, husband handles downstairs. If she doesn't want breakfast, that is HER choice. She cooks her lunch at school (a school program) but if she doesnt choose her snacks, that's HER problem (but NOTHING will hold her back from sweet things!). And if she hasn't got everything she needs for school, that is HER problem. Because:</p><p></p><p>- she CANNOT keep her driver waiting. NOT EVER. He has other kids to pick up.</p><p></p><p>But oh my gosh, the times we have both felt like your husband did. Like just about every morning. It is so HARD to go through that refusal to get up and the verbal abuse and the ATTITUDE that makes one want to slap her silly. Not that we can or ever would, given our foster parent status. And if we did ...well, she understands all too well that we aRe not allowed to ever lay a hand on her. </p><p>LOL - she once told her worker that I pulled her hair. Questioned more closely, she quite freely said it was when she was biting me, and agreed that I was in fact cradling the back of her head and exerting gentle pressure to release the bite, as I had been advised to do by the police the last time I had called them for biting etc.</p><p></p><p>Funny how she can form sentences so easily when they are abusive to husband or me!</p><p></p><p>Anyway, just empathizing. If her medications make a difference in her behaviors, then bribe, coerce, bribe, encourage, bribe and bribe to get them into her ASAP. But I am sure if that would help, you are already doing it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and hang in!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="addie, post: 515666, member: 140"] Oh dear, I am so sorry - but you SO described mornings here ( we are on spring break so have a reprieve). It's the 15 yr old. She is seriously developmentally delayed in so many ways, as in she can hardly sign her own name and only fairly recently became able to form whole (simple) sentences. But attitude! And dressing to draw male attention ( cos the only time she dresses that way is when there are going to males around, and we are SO afraid for her and her desperate need for acceptance), and laziness, and oppositionality! All of those are 'age appropriate' IF she was functioning at 15 yrs. Anyway, I have no advice, just lots of empathy. I have dropped the expectations right down to four simple things: - take your medications (we give them to her when we wake her up, adderal) - brush your teeth - put the elastics on your braces - brush and put your hair in a pony tail. The cussing and swearing that comes from that room until the medications kick in!!!!!! AND - in spite of being on depo provera, Heaven help us, she still PMSs, though I have an appointment to look into that. And often and often it is because I or husband did not wake her up the way she wanted to be woken up. Which is how???? Also often because she wants a bath when she KNOWS the rule is she takes her bath or shower at night because she takes so long, and her van is arriving in 10 minutes. I handle upstairs, husband handles downstairs. If she doesn't want breakfast, that is HER choice. She cooks her lunch at school (a school program) but if she doesnt choose her snacks, that's HER problem (but NOTHING will hold her back from sweet things!). And if she hasn't got everything she needs for school, that is HER problem. Because: - she CANNOT keep her driver waiting. NOT EVER. He has other kids to pick up. But oh my gosh, the times we have both felt like your husband did. Like just about every morning. It is so HARD to go through that refusal to get up and the verbal abuse and the ATTITUDE that makes one want to slap her silly. Not that we can or ever would, given our foster parent status. And if we did ...well, she understands all too well that we aRe not allowed to ever lay a hand on her. LOL - she once told her worker that I pulled her hair. Questioned more closely, she quite freely said it was when she was biting me, and agreed that I was in fact cradling the back of her head and exerting gentle pressure to release the bite, as I had been advised to do by the police the last time I had called them for biting etc. Funny how she can form sentences so easily when they are abusive to husband or me! Anyway, just empathizing. If her medications make a difference in her behaviors, then bribe, coerce, bribe, encourage, bribe and bribe to get them into her ASAP. But I am sure if that would help, you are already doing it. Good luck and hang in! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Just Another Morning in Paradise...
Top