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just blew up on difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 412121" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>You are super tired and worn down. You know deep down that satisfying her with her wish to return to school will only be a very short term "happiness" for her. She expects that as soon as she sits at the desk that ALL her problems will go away. She will be happy - friends will be falling over each other for her. You know that will not happen and after a day or so of feeling like she is getting what she wants, she will just fall apart again, find something else to complain to you about, and you will be back where you are now.</p><p> </p><p>You do need to get her back to school but get her back the right way. She has to show that she can use the tools needed to be in school. She has to be stable.</p><p> </p><p>We know some kids push and push and push until we become weak and give in just to create a moments peace. No sooner have we taken 1/2 a peaceful breathe, they find something else to push and push and push about.</p><p> </p><p>1st step is to get control of her behavior of harrassing you. You seem to have tried everything under the sun on this one and I don't think I have anything new and fresh to offer.</p><p> </p><p>I think my suggestion would be intensifying a schedule at home that focuses 24/7 on her behaviors (as if you are not doing that now! I know - you can't help but do so). She will know what to expect every minute of the day. Also set up a plan on what will happen when she stops listening/doing and starts disrespecting. Plan on committing the next few weeks just addressing her disrespect. Have rewards ready at the first step of cooperation. "As soon as you get dressed, we will have breakfast." No getting dressed/no breakfast - even if it means that breakfast comes at 4:00 in the afternoon. Once she has done this a few days in a row than, "You are handling this task so well that today you get to choose what you want for breakfast." Once the room is picked up, then we can watch a movie together (or if it is done in time we can watch that t.v. show together). I think everyday things can be rewards if that makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>It will be a lot of work on your end but you already are doing so much that maybe redirecting it to something like this will help you feel that you are in control again. </p><p> </p><p>But I need to back up one step. The real 1st step is for you to get caught up on sleep again. How can that happen?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 412121, member: 5096"] You are super tired and worn down. You know deep down that satisfying her with her wish to return to school will only be a very short term "happiness" for her. She expects that as soon as she sits at the desk that ALL her problems will go away. She will be happy - friends will be falling over each other for her. You know that will not happen and after a day or so of feeling like she is getting what she wants, she will just fall apart again, find something else to complain to you about, and you will be back where you are now. You do need to get her back to school but get her back the right way. She has to show that she can use the tools needed to be in school. She has to be stable. We know some kids push and push and push until we become weak and give in just to create a moments peace. No sooner have we taken 1/2 a peaceful breathe, they find something else to push and push and push about. 1st step is to get control of her behavior of harrassing you. You seem to have tried everything under the sun on this one and I don't think I have anything new and fresh to offer. I think my suggestion would be intensifying a schedule at home that focuses 24/7 on her behaviors (as if you are not doing that now! I know - you can't help but do so). She will know what to expect every minute of the day. Also set up a plan on what will happen when she stops listening/doing and starts disrespecting. Plan on committing the next few weeks just addressing her disrespect. Have rewards ready at the first step of cooperation. "As soon as you get dressed, we will have breakfast." No getting dressed/no breakfast - even if it means that breakfast comes at 4:00 in the afternoon. Once she has done this a few days in a row than, "You are handling this task so well that today you get to choose what you want for breakfast." Once the room is picked up, then we can watch a movie together (or if it is done in time we can watch that t.v. show together). I think everyday things can be rewards if that makes sense. It will be a lot of work on your end but you already are doing so much that maybe redirecting it to something like this will help you feel that you are in control again. But I need to back up one step. The real 1st step is for you to get caught up on sleep again. How can that happen? [/QUOTE]
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