Just lived a lifetime through my easy child ...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    OMG. She called last night and I missed the call but husband got it, so I talked with-easy child this a.m. at length. (I slept in another room ... I say husband snores and he claims I snore ;) )
    Last night, easy child was in her apt on campus, with-a roommate and her boyfriend. They heard a commotion upstairs and thought it was play fighting. Then it got louder and went on for about 10 min. When they heard crashing and a woman yelling, "Get off of me!" they all went upstairs to check it out. They saw the back of a man walking away but did not see his face. They knocked on the door, and some apparent roommates opened the door like nothing had gone on. easy child asked what happened and they said, I dunno, nothin. Huh? easy child asked to see the girl who was in the fight so they let her go to a back bedroom. easy child said the place was trashed (actually, the entire place was trashed, so for the roommates to say they didn't know was SO obnoxious ... they were in the middle of it ... probably hiding in their rooms) and she couldn't find the girl. She heard crying and found her huddled in a corner, and asked her if she was all right. She was covering half of her face (Which was obviously bruised) and said, "Just go away. I'm fine." easy child offered to help and the girl said no. easy child asked if she wanted to call the police and she said no.
    The boyfriend talked to the roommates and he was ready to scream at them ... no one tried to stop the guy (apparently a boyfriend) and they acted like it was no big deal. He was all set to run after the guy they'd seen walking away but easy child convinced him it was too dangerous and they called 911.
    It took 45 min for the police and paramedics to arrive. :(
    I asked easy child if she was specific about the need for an ambulance and how important this was, and she said yes, and couldn't figure out why they took their time.
    The police gave easy child, her roommate and boyfriend a lecture about how they should lock their door and be careful, because once the guy finds out who called 911, they'll all be on his list. Gulp. The girl refused to press charges, but the police can do it on their own. boyfriend made a statement this a.m, and easy child is going to the police dept to make her statement after class this afternoon.
    She was so upset she hardly slept at all. She said the sound of skin-to-skin, body-to-body blow contact is unmistakable and unforgettable. And the fact that the girl didn't want to press charges ... she is obviously afraid of him.

    So, easy child also told me that one of her profs, a math stat prof, had a breakdown in class. She is in her late 70s and beginning to lose her memory. She was doing an interest rate on the board and forgot how to end the equation. She paused and apologized for having a senior moment, then she started to cry. easy child said no one knew what to do. Then she got really angry and shouted, "Forget it! Just go on to the next one!" So she was multiplying the amt of $150 and said multiply $150 by $150 by
    $150 by $150 by $150 and she wrote it all out. easy child raised her hand and said, "Couldn't we just put 150 (to the power of 5---can't do it on this screen, lol!) The prof got angry and said, I'm not teaching exponents! Uhh ...
    I guess this will be her last semester teaching. Poor thing.

    She said her boyfriend is taking some kind of Homeland Security class, and the prof is "an old retired military guy." "Oh, that means he's about 45, right?" I said. easy child laughed and said, "Oh, no, he's much older than that!" (Just testing ...:) )
    He told the class that if they are late once, they have to do 50 pushups. If they are late again, he will kill them.
    Alrighty, then ...

    Much more, but you get the gist of it.

    This is why I'm glad I'm not in college any more. I've got enough to deal with ... :hamwheelsmilf:
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It is wonderful that your easy child got involved... how many never do....

    If she is scared though she can just call 911 at the first sound from now on....dont face a guy like that (feeling protective as I am sure you are TIMES 1000000000 to the 5th power)
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    (((((HUGS))))) to you and easy child both!!! It sounds like easy child has some interesting teachers. I bet that not many are late to the Homeland Security class her boyfriend is taking!! Reminds me of a history prof I once had.

    Your easy child and her roommate and boyfriend are amazing and wonderful people. You would be SHOCKED at how many people would have completely ignored the situation. I guess there are lots of reasons for that but it isn't something I could do. I am so proud of my niece for insisting on seeing the girl and for calling 911. You have raised a truly wonderful young lady.

    As for the amt of time for the police to respond? There may be some problem with the university playing politics and wanting their security to handle things and then when the regular police/ambulance get called there are procedures and protocols to be navigated. Or there could have been a huge accident or a lot of small problems at the same time. As the girl did not seem to be in life threatening danger or in danger of dying from her injuries, the call would have been lower on the priority list, esp if the same address was called many times in the past and the girl had refused treatment and/or to speak with police or to press charges.

    Your daughter, boyfriend and her roomie will ALL need to be careful. If easy child doesn't have a security alarm and pepper spray, she needs to get them. The security alarm can go on her keys and a second on her backpack or purse might be a good idea. It isn't enough to just have the alarm and spray. She has to PRACTICE using them, or she may freeze up if she is confronted. It really makes a difference. She also needs to be extra careful to not walk around campus alone after dark.

    The girl who was attacked may never thank her, or even appreciate it, but what easy child and her friends did was truly brave and wonderful. I am glad laws have changed and the charges can be pressed even if the abused woman doesn't want to.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    We've had five in college and the worst stories were about drunks and sexual regrets. Even then I worried so I can only imagine what's going through your head. Yikes! I have compassion for the senior moments teacher but if something similar happens again (which I think is likely) the Dept. Head needs to be informed. The lady is likely trying to "hang in" but the education of students is paramount. I have been very impressed by the U of Tenn. head coach who went public with early onset Altz. and now has an Asst. Coach leading the team, although the head coach is present and active at games. Sometimes you just have to come forward. Sigh. DDD
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know. So sad about the prof. I am hoping she can move forward on her own, with-a diagnosis and medications, but chances are ...

    In reg to the upstairs issues, easy child did say she was thinking about taking karate. She took it many yrs ago and was able to break a board with-her elbow, but she's probably forgotten all that. Plus, as was pointed out here, with-the pepper spray, the idea is to be ready and able to use it and not freeze.

    I will have her talk to her other roommates, too, so they are all on the same page.
    by the way, she could not find the floor supervisor that evening, but I reminded her that the issue needs to be written up and put in the file, because if someone finds that poor girl dead sometime ... well, anyway, let's hope she gets some help.

    I am one of those people who runs after a bad guy with-o thinking. I've done it a cpl times but luckily, haven't caught up with-anyone. Once was when I was close to easy child's age and someone in our apt bldg was enraged with-the mgmt and he was ripping off door frames in the hallway. Even though I was just a renter, it made me mad, because it was still "my" bldg because I pay rent ... so husband and I both took off after him in opposite directions. husband of course told me not to. Luckily, he went toward husband's end of the hallway and was confronted by mgmt and police. Later, husband said, "What would you have done if you'd caught him?"
    "I don't know ..."
    Uh, yeah ... gotta have a plan. Something workable.
    And that was in the day b4 cell phones.
    Ah, youth. ;)
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Boy I really do like you and your daughter.
    Yall are special people.

    You must be so proud of her.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, but you don't have to be proud ... these are normal expectations in my family. I simply don't know any other way. :)
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Terry - I don't like the word "proud" either... But still... it must feel good to see that the values you put into your child, are coming out in actions...
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes. It will be interesting to see if difficult child ever reacts like this. I doubt he'll actually knock on anyone's door, but think he will call 911 sometime. husband and I talked about it at the dinnertable last night in front of difficult child. easy child is his hero so I hope some of it rubs off.
    When difficult child was little, he used to walk up to complete strangers and tell them what to do. He's way too inhibited now. One time, we were at a 7-Eleven, and there were a bunch of teen thugs near the door, all leather and chains and bandanas. One of them was smoking. difficult child walked up to him and yelled, "You're in Time Out! No smoking!"
    OMG. For one, terrified moment, the guy leaned toward difficult child like he was going to deck him, but then one of the girls started to giggle and put her arm in front of the guy.
    I LOVE telling that story in front of difficult child's friends ... :itwashim3:
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    It is shocking and so very sad that there were others in the apartment who did absolutely nothing to help while this woman was being attacked... I know it happens all the time, but it still leaves me almost speechless.

    I can't say this any better then Susie already did.

    Hope your daughter, her boyfriend and roommate take the advice from the police seriously and do everything possible to stay safe!! SFR
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    That the victim was too afraid to do anything about her abusive boyfriend, is understandable. That her roomates basically stood by and allowed him to beat her is unthinkable and unforgivable. Kuddos to your daughter and her boyfriend ect for going up and checking the situation out and informing authorities.

    No. The girl will probably never thank her. But they reinforced the idea that the way this male is treating her is wrong and not to be tolerated.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I know it is just what is expected in your family and the only way you knwo how to live. Be proud of her anyway. there are a LOT of people who don't see the world this way.

    The roommates could also be scared of this guy - you don't know what he has done to htem on other occasions.