OMG... thank you all so much for your replies. I'm almost overwhelmed! Okay, lemme see if I can sum up.
The counselor is referring us to the Arizona Child Study Center for a Pediatric BioPsychoSocial Assessment. Wow, that's a mouthful! We have to fill out a packet, then send it in, then they contact us for an appointment. But, they're booking about 11 months out. The counselor is referring us here for a few reasons. First of all, they're not a private practice facility, they're on a research grant from St. Joseph's Hospital. So, according to the counselor, they're much better at actually working with you & your child and not so much concerned about maximizing their profits by carrying a high patient load. Secondly, the counselor has a teenaged son with-Bipolar disorder & this is where they go and they've had great results. Would this be the same as the MDE that you're suggesting, MidWest Mom?
As far as treating the underlying condition... I'm assuming you're talking about the ODD? By "treatment" do you mean medication? The counselor is not able to prescribe medications, and I'm assuming that's what the evaluation is for. But, a year seems a long time to wait to see if there's an organic issue. Do you suggest taking her elsewhere in the meantime? The counselor thinks I should try "123 Magic" and see how we do, and wait for the developmental peds appointment, unless she doesn't respond well to the new parenting strategy. So far, I'm not exactly sold on the "123 Magic" concept, but I'm still waiting for the book to come in the mail so I can get a better understanding of what I'm supposed to do. I've just been going off the tidbits I get in our counseling sessions.
We actually have a "Meet the Teacher" night next week, so I'm very excited about that. I'll take your suggestions & see how the teacher responds. The reason I'm keeping her at this school is because they do know her history & have been great about wanting to work with me to help her succeed. I didn't feel like they were labelling her as a problem child, or anything like that. For the most part, she really enjoyed the activities of school... she just really struggled socially. For a long while, I felt like I was over-reacting because the teachers kept stressing that it's normal for 3yo kids to hit & have social issues. But, when it became almost everyday, and began intensifying I got really concerned. I'm almost glad she has a new teacher this year... clean slate! Also, I'm putting her in afternoon pre-k instead of AMs because we are NOT morning people here in our house. It was always stress & chaos trying to get out the door, so I'm hoping doing the PM session will work out better.
As far as other medical issues... I'd never really thought about it. I haven't noticed any one thing in particular, but she's extremely sensitive. Ex: driving the speed limit on the rural road near our house is "too fast," she'll barely even sit on a swing at the playground much less swing on it, everything she eats has to be plain... burgers, sandwiches, PB&J with-o the J.
Again, thank you all so much for all your help. Being a Christian stay at home mom, I get the distinct feeling that I'm not supposed to have these issues and, if I do, then it's because of my poor parenting. As awful as it sounds, I was a bit relieved to get an actual diagnosis from the counselor. I was shocked, but in a way I felt a bit vindicated on the "Worst Mother of the Decade" charge. I mean, nobody ever says anything directly, but it's implied enough... "your child is a brat & it's your fault." Thank you all for truly being a "soft place to crash."