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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 636831" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>You <em>HAD TO? </em>You can not be done and then take proactive steps to get involved. I am not saying this to be nasty but to point out some possible internal conflict that you may be having. If you are truly done, it is ok to be done. Just go No Contact and be done.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is the road to your own personal recovery. If you expect them to change, it is just going to take longer for you to recover. Personally they have no investment in your recovery and will continue to use and abuse as long as you allow it. It will be painful when you understand that to find your own happiness you have to leave them behind and allow them to find their own version of it. To feel like you are the outsider is painful and when you are the one doing the "right" things boggles the mind, but we are only an "outsider" when we don't want to stay involved with people who live their lives in unhealthy ways as they try to drag us along into their way of thinking. </p><p></p><p>How many of beat our heads against the wall over and over trying to fix the un-fixable when if we used that same energy on ourselves to lead ourselves to happiness. As moms I think we have a harder time with it because we are suppose to fix all our kids boo-boos in the world and when we can't we feel guilty; if only we had tried harder are done something different??? Let me say it for you: YOU deserve better than you are getting and you DESERVE to have a happy life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 636831, member: 18366"] You [I]HAD TO? [/I]You can not be done and then take proactive steps to get involved. I am not saying this to be nasty but to point out some possible internal conflict that you may be having. If you are truly done, it is ok to be done. Just go No Contact and be done. This is the road to your own personal recovery. If you expect them to change, it is just going to take longer for you to recover. Personally they have no investment in your recovery and will continue to use and abuse as long as you allow it. It will be painful when you understand that to find your own happiness you have to leave them behind and allow them to find their own version of it. To feel like you are the outsider is painful and when you are the one doing the "right" things boggles the mind, but we are only an "outsider" when we don't want to stay involved with people who live their lives in unhealthy ways as they try to drag us along into their way of thinking. How many of beat our heads against the wall over and over trying to fix the un-fixable when if we used that same energy on ourselves to lead ourselves to happiness. As moms I think we have a harder time with it because we are suppose to fix all our kids boo-boos in the world and when we can't we feel guilty; if only we had tried harder are done something different??? Let me say it for you: YOU deserve better than you are getting and you DESERVE to have a happy life. [/QUOTE]
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