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Just talked to my Dad
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 363911" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Susie, I agree with Heather. You could make an appointment to speak with someone from a local domestic violence group and have them tell her the exact same thing!</p><p> </p><p>Some people just don't get it! Maybe referring to it as domestic 'violence' is the reason - I don't know. I remember years ago when my (then) mother-in-law was still alive and I told her that my husband (her son) was very abusive towards me. She gave me a really dirty look and said, "Now you <em>KNOW</em> that he's never hit you!" No, he didn't, because he knew I would call the police and he would lose his job. And because that would have ruined his carefully crafted 'image' that he tried so hard to cultivate with the kids. But he made my life so miserable and hopeless that I came very close to suicide many times and didn't see any other way out. The only thing that kept me from doing it was knowing that if I did it, the kids would be left alone with him!</p><p> </p><p>Whether it's verbal, emotional or physical, it's abuse all the same. The tactics are the same - the lying, twisting facts, the manipulation, the hurtful intentions. And the damages they cause to the family are just as severe and just as long lasting as physical abuse. My husband was trying to 'punish' me for his own problems that he caused himself by blaming me and trying to destroy my relationship with my children to hurt me. Your brother is trying to do the same thing by attempting to destroy your relationship with your parents. And your mother is looking at it just like my mother in law used to - the old "sticks and stones" theory, but "words" <u>can</u> hurt you just as much if not more than actual physical violence. "Words" can ruin relationships and destroy families too. A good domestic violence counselor should be able to explain it to her where she will understand and it will make sense to her. I hope you can convince her to talk to someone. Hang in there, Susie. Sending lots of hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 363911, member: 1883"] Susie, I agree with Heather. You could make an appointment to speak with someone from a local domestic violence group and have them tell her the exact same thing! Some people just don't get it! Maybe referring to it as domestic 'violence' is the reason - I don't know. I remember years ago when my (then) mother-in-law was still alive and I told her that my husband (her son) was very abusive towards me. She gave me a really dirty look and said, "Now you [I]KNOW[/I] that he's never hit you!" No, he didn't, because he knew I would call the police and he would lose his job. And because that would have ruined his carefully crafted 'image' that he tried so hard to cultivate with the kids. But he made my life so miserable and hopeless that I came very close to suicide many times and didn't see any other way out. The only thing that kept me from doing it was knowing that if I did it, the kids would be left alone with him! Whether it's verbal, emotional or physical, it's abuse all the same. The tactics are the same - the lying, twisting facts, the manipulation, the hurtful intentions. And the damages they cause to the family are just as severe and just as long lasting as physical abuse. My husband was trying to 'punish' me for his own problems that he caused himself by blaming me and trying to destroy my relationship with my children to hurt me. Your brother is trying to do the same thing by attempting to destroy your relationship with your parents. And your mother is looking at it just like my mother in law used to - the old "sticks and stones" theory, but "words" [U]can[/U] hurt you just as much if not more than actual physical violence. "Words" can ruin relationships and destroy families too. A good domestic violence counselor should be able to explain it to her where she will understand and it will make sense to her. I hope you can convince her to talk to someone. Hang in there, Susie. Sending lots of hugs. [/QUOTE]
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