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Just wondering where "me" is
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 168922" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Steely,</p><p>***</p><p>Many hugs. Your pain breaks my heart.</p><p>***</p><p>Your last post about your relationship with H. made me think of something, tho. I lost my dad 15 months ago. Not nearly so tragic, but ever so sudden. For those first several months, all I could think of was how great he was. Almost put him on a pedastal. Then 6 or 7 months into it, the reality of who he was started creeping into it, and at first, I hated those thoughts and feelings; he was gone, and I missed him, how dare I think something not-so-postive about this great man.</p><p>***</p><p>My dad was a wonderful man. I loved him dearly. But he wasn't as perfect as I made him out to be those first 6 months after he left us. He could be judgemental and tacky, he wasn't the best husband to my mother, he wasn't a perfect father, and sometimes I got downright angry at him. He did a lot for the community, but sometimes left his family to fend for themselves thru the years...he was human, just like the rest of us, and tho I still miss him dearly, his "human-ness" started to come back to me...that maybe he didn't deserve to be quite as high on that pedastal as I had placed him... And that was hard to think about.</p><p>***</p><p>I don't know if possibly this is possibly where you might be, but it was my experience. I loved my dad with all my heart and would give anything to have him back, thorns and warts and all, but remembering he had thorns and warts hurt, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 168922, member: 1848"] Steely, *** Many hugs. Your pain breaks my heart. *** Your last post about your relationship with H. made me think of something, tho. I lost my dad 15 months ago. Not nearly so tragic, but ever so sudden. For those first several months, all I could think of was how great he was. Almost put him on a pedastal. Then 6 or 7 months into it, the reality of who he was started creeping into it, and at first, I hated those thoughts and feelings; he was gone, and I missed him, how dare I think something not-so-postive about this great man. *** My dad was a wonderful man. I loved him dearly. But he wasn't as perfect as I made him out to be those first 6 months after he left us. He could be judgemental and tacky, he wasn't the best husband to my mother, he wasn't a perfect father, and sometimes I got downright angry at him. He did a lot for the community, but sometimes left his family to fend for themselves thru the years...he was human, just like the rest of us, and tho I still miss him dearly, his "human-ness" started to come back to me...that maybe he didn't deserve to be quite as high on that pedastal as I had placed him... And that was hard to think about. *** I don't know if possibly this is possibly where you might be, but it was my experience. I loved my dad with all my heart and would give anything to have him back, thorns and warts and all, but remembering he had thorns and warts hurt, too. [/QUOTE]
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