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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 471849" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>JJJ, I know you don't like it and feel like it's rewarding her behaviors, but in my humble opinion she has to get in TLP soon. I totally agree with- you, she's manipulating the system and she'll keep on doing whatever it takes to get her way... but they could treat her 'til the cows come home and she most likely will not feel honest remorse for her actions, nor will she change her ways - at least not in the setting of Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TLP. She's proven time and again that there are simply no consequences that affect her enough to make her contemplate modifying her choices - heck, she is still justifying her choices and everyone else is nuts. At the same time, she knows Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is safe - she's got 3 hots and a cot waiting for her when she gets caught or decides to return on her own. Post 18, that guarantee is going to be gone. It's going to be a rude awakening for her, but also probably won't scare her like it should because she's got a "plan", I'm sure (not necessarily based in reality, but since when has that mattered to our kids?).</p><p></p><p>I think the best you can hope for is that she is able to at least hold a job, get some kind of life skills and experience under her belt that will serve her post 18 or 21 (you know I'm a cynic, but I wouldn't count on funding post 18 given the state of things in IL, and I do have to wonder if she, like thank you, is just going to decide it's her life and the heck with- treatment once she hits 18). Ideally she would go through a normal developmental progression from one skill to the next, building as she goes, but time is running short and she is just so oppositional to rules and programming requirements.... it may be time to get what you can and quit worrying about whether it's manipulation or whatever. Does that make sense?</p><p></p><p>My heart is with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 471849, member: 8"] JJJ, I know you don't like it and feel like it's rewarding her behaviors, but in my humble opinion she has to get in TLP soon. I totally agree with- you, she's manipulating the system and she'll keep on doing whatever it takes to get her way... but they could treat her 'til the cows come home and she most likely will not feel honest remorse for her actions, nor will she change her ways - at least not in the setting of Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TLP. She's proven time and again that there are simply no consequences that affect her enough to make her contemplate modifying her choices - heck, she is still justifying her choices and everyone else is nuts. At the same time, she knows Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is safe - she's got 3 hots and a cot waiting for her when she gets caught or decides to return on her own. Post 18, that guarantee is going to be gone. It's going to be a rude awakening for her, but also probably won't scare her like it should because she's got a "plan", I'm sure (not necessarily based in reality, but since when has that mattered to our kids?). I think the best you can hope for is that she is able to at least hold a job, get some kind of life skills and experience under her belt that will serve her post 18 or 21 (you know I'm a cynic, but I wouldn't count on funding post 18 given the state of things in IL, and I do have to wonder if she, like thank you, is just going to decide it's her life and the heck with- treatment once she hits 18). Ideally she would go through a normal developmental progression from one skill to the next, building as she goes, but time is running short and she is just so oppositional to rules and programming requirements.... it may be time to get what you can and quit worrying about whether it's manipulation or whatever. Does that make sense? My heart is with you. [/QUOTE]
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