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General Parenting
Kanga's new 'career goal'
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 361256" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Sorry, she wouldn't be able to make prostitution a career. A good hooker knows when to say no - ie when the money hasn't been handed over, or when there are other issues. A good madam would never take on someone like this, they would lose money. Mind you, a good madam could use Kanga to keep the cops happy with freebies...</p><p></p><p>I'm semi-serious, JJJ - if Kanga ever suggests she'd make a good prostitute, let her know that a really successful one would have to be able to be business-like about it. And frankly, she is too undiscriminating. Also, a good prostitute has to seem enthusiastic with ALL clients and this means that she has to be prepared to be nice to everybody she accepts money from. And if you think about it, there have to be people who pay for prostitutes, because there is no way they can get it the usual way. And the prostitutes, if they want the work, have to follow through and act like they are spending their time with the most charming, attractive individual when in fact the other person may not be. Also the other person may not be very capable and need a lot of help. Some people with physical disabilities sometimes use prostitutes because they need not only the sex, but someone with sufficient experience and inventiveness to think of a way around the physical problem.</p><p></p><p>I really don't think she could do this. </p><p></p><p>Maybe get yourself a copy of a certain famous hooker's book and read up on the range of things she was asked to do (and for pete's sake don't let Kanga see the book). Also take note - she had to have a sufficient grasp of reality in order to keep herself safe. A good prostitute has to have a good sense for self-preservation and know who to not offend. Oh, so much social awareness is needed, it is scary.</p><p></p><p>If her attitude towards sex is already so cavalier, the issue now isn't to stop her having sex. So many of us try to act as if our kids are perpetually "innocent" and as if we can put the gunpowder back into the cartridge after it's been fired. Thing is, once they've started, you can't stop them. And if they're determined enough, you can't stop them. The best you can do is try to teach appropriateness. And to someone so egocentric and apparently with no theory of mind either, trying to say, "It's not like this for other people," just won't sink in. </p><p></p><p>For Kanga, having sex in the back of the classroom is something to alleviate the boredom. But for a kid watching on, it can be really traumatic and damaging to witness this. They WERE disgusted or they wouldn't have dobbed her in. So if her peers are disgusted with her and think she's being inappropriate, and she doesn't seem to get that this disgust is a problem for her in so many other ways - I'm not surprised you feel at a loss.</p><p></p><p>As you said, the act is not the issue here. Her attitude to it all, IS.</p><p></p><p>You poor darling - I'm not sure how you can take it from here. But my thinking cap is on for you.</p><p></p><p>One thought - has an endocrinologist had a look at her hormone profile? There could be something out of whack that could be adjusted back medically.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 361256, member: 1991"] Sorry, she wouldn't be able to make prostitution a career. A good hooker knows when to say no - ie when the money hasn't been handed over, or when there are other issues. A good madam would never take on someone like this, they would lose money. Mind you, a good madam could use Kanga to keep the cops happy with freebies... I'm semi-serious, JJJ - if Kanga ever suggests she'd make a good prostitute, let her know that a really successful one would have to be able to be business-like about it. And frankly, she is too undiscriminating. Also, a good prostitute has to seem enthusiastic with ALL clients and this means that she has to be prepared to be nice to everybody she accepts money from. And if you think about it, there have to be people who pay for prostitutes, because there is no way they can get it the usual way. And the prostitutes, if they want the work, have to follow through and act like they are spending their time with the most charming, attractive individual when in fact the other person may not be. Also the other person may not be very capable and need a lot of help. Some people with physical disabilities sometimes use prostitutes because they need not only the sex, but someone with sufficient experience and inventiveness to think of a way around the physical problem. I really don't think she could do this. Maybe get yourself a copy of a certain famous hooker's book and read up on the range of things she was asked to do (and for pete's sake don't let Kanga see the book). Also take note - she had to have a sufficient grasp of reality in order to keep herself safe. A good prostitute has to have a good sense for self-preservation and know who to not offend. Oh, so much social awareness is needed, it is scary. If her attitude towards sex is already so cavalier, the issue now isn't to stop her having sex. So many of us try to act as if our kids are perpetually "innocent" and as if we can put the gunpowder back into the cartridge after it's been fired. Thing is, once they've started, you can't stop them. And if they're determined enough, you can't stop them. The best you can do is try to teach appropriateness. And to someone so egocentric and apparently with no theory of mind either, trying to say, "It's not like this for other people," just won't sink in. For Kanga, having sex in the back of the classroom is something to alleviate the boredom. But for a kid watching on, it can be really traumatic and damaging to witness this. They WERE disgusted or they wouldn't have dobbed her in. So if her peers are disgusted with her and think she's being inappropriate, and she doesn't seem to get that this disgust is a problem for her in so many other ways - I'm not surprised you feel at a loss. As you said, the act is not the issue here. Her attitude to it all, IS. You poor darling - I'm not sure how you can take it from here. But my thinking cap is on for you. One thought - has an endocrinologist had a look at her hormone profile? There could be something out of whack that could be adjusted back medically. Marg [/QUOTE]
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