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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 622264" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Chandra, welcome to the CD board. Many of us here have been (or are) where you are now. Your son has no reason to want to change. He has a roof over his head and food to eat and can use drugs. Why change?</p><p></p><p>It is time for him to be on his own. I know how hard it is to do that. My daughter relapsed recently and we have cut off all contact and financial support. She is in another state and has no job, no food, and will soon be homeless. She also had her car booted and couldn't afford to pay and it has now been impounded. She actually had the company that booted her car call us and theyleft a message that they had been told that we would pay the fee to have the boot removed. My husband didn't even bother to call them back. It is not our car and we did not park it somewhere illegally so why should we have to pay to fix it. It is something we would have done in the past, though.</p><p></p><p>This is the first time we have ever let her full the full impact of her addiction. We will not rescue her anymore.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, it will be her "bottom" and she will not want to live like this. If not, we have done what we could and have to take care of us now.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong and post often. I think you will find incredible support and understanding her. I also have found having a therapist to work with on setting boundaries to be very helpful.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I went to our first Families Anonymous meeting last night and really liked it. We had tried different Al-Anon groups in the past and didn't care for them. The FA group was all parents of alcoholic/addicts in their twenties so we could really relate to them and their stories.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 622264, member: 1967"] Chandra, welcome to the CD board. Many of us here have been (or are) where you are now. Your son has no reason to want to change. He has a roof over his head and food to eat and can use drugs. Why change? It is time for him to be on his own. I know how hard it is to do that. My daughter relapsed recently and we have cut off all contact and financial support. She is in another state and has no job, no food, and will soon be homeless. She also had her car booted and couldn't afford to pay and it has now been impounded. She actually had the company that booted her car call us and theyleft a message that they had been told that we would pay the fee to have the boot removed. My husband didn't even bother to call them back. It is not our car and we did not park it somewhere illegally so why should we have to pay to fix it. It is something we would have done in the past, though. This is the first time we have ever let her full the full impact of her addiction. We will not rescue her anymore. Hopefully, it will be her "bottom" and she will not want to live like this. If not, we have done what we could and have to take care of us now. Stay strong and post often. I think you will find incredible support and understanding her. I also have found having a therapist to work with on setting boundaries to be very helpful. My husband and I went to our first Families Anonymous meeting last night and really liked it. We had tried different Al-Anon groups in the past and didn't care for them. The FA group was all parents of alcoholic/addicts in their twenties so we could really relate to them and their stories. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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