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<blockquote data-quote="ChandraC" data-source="post: 622275" data-attributes="member: 17765"><p>I will try and answer your questions Midwestmom, first no I have never reached out before this. I have covered for them, hid things from other family members for them and helped out financially when they both needed it. It crazy because we are in Alberta and they are both welders, they make three times the money my husband and I make!!</p><p></p><p>I guess I feel guilty because I am not with either of their fathers I feel I have let them down in some ways. My two oldest boys are from my first husband I left him when they were 3 and 1. My third son is from a man I lived with for 13 years and was very abusive to me. At the time I used to tell myself that my sons were not being affected by this bit I was so wrong. My oldest was 16 when I left that relationship and I leaned on him for support, which I never should have. For that he had to grow up way to fast. These are some of the reasons of guilt! </p><p></p><p>I kicked him out in June 2009 and moved him back in October 2009! In the 5 months he was on his own he was arrested several times for stealing food, he had his teeth all punched out (I still don't think I know the truth behind this) and was not working. So I took him back helped get all his charges paid off, helped get him a job in the oil patch and had his teeth replaced with false ones. It is truly the hardest thing in the world to see my sons fail. I have helped my oldest out in ways that I have not even told my husband. It's hard to let go. </p><p></p><p>I have never neglected the son that is doing well, he and his family are my guiding light through all of this. He is at the point where he has told both of his brothers to stay away from his family no calls nothing! He is always telling me to kick my son out and to block the other but detaching is something I just can't seem to do. I feel it's like giving up on them! They have good hearts and are good sons when not high.</p><p></p><p>So I am reaching out now to talk and hope to get strength through other parents that are going through similar things.</p><p></p><p>Thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChandraC, post: 622275, member: 17765"] I will try and answer your questions Midwestmom, first no I have never reached out before this. I have covered for them, hid things from other family members for them and helped out financially when they both needed it. It crazy because we are in Alberta and they are both welders, they make three times the money my husband and I make!! I guess I feel guilty because I am not with either of their fathers I feel I have let them down in some ways. My two oldest boys are from my first husband I left him when they were 3 and 1. My third son is from a man I lived with for 13 years and was very abusive to me. At the time I used to tell myself that my sons were not being affected by this bit I was so wrong. My oldest was 16 when I left that relationship and I leaned on him for support, which I never should have. For that he had to grow up way to fast. These are some of the reasons of guilt! I kicked him out in June 2009 and moved him back in October 2009! In the 5 months he was on his own he was arrested several times for stealing food, he had his teeth all punched out (I still don't think I know the truth behind this) and was not working. So I took him back helped get all his charges paid off, helped get him a job in the oil patch and had his teeth replaced with false ones. It is truly the hardest thing in the world to see my sons fail. I have helped my oldest out in ways that I have not even told my husband. It's hard to let go. I have never neglected the son that is doing well, he and his family are my guiding light through all of this. He is at the point where he has told both of his brothers to stay away from his family no calls nothing! He is always telling me to kick my son out and to block the other but detaching is something I just can't seem to do. I feel it's like giving up on them! They have good hearts and are good sons when not high. So I am reaching out now to talk and hope to get strength through other parents that are going through similar things. Thanks [/QUOTE]
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