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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 144698" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Paula,</p><p>First of all {{{{{hugs}}}}} for your hurting heart.</p><p>There is no way in the world that you should have to put up with that kind of treatment from your H. He is showing you great disrespect, but he is also showing your sons that it's okay to treat your wife like that, and your daughter that it's okay to be treated that way by your husband. By putting up with that treatment, you are sending them the same message. </p><p></p><p>I agree with others that you need to see a therapist who can help you figure out what you want, and a plan to help you get there. </p><p></p><p>My ex-H treated me the same way that your H is treating you now, so I do understand.</p><p></p><p>You do need to show your H that you will not put up with being treated that way. The principle of Do to Get seems to apply here. If you're taking care of your H's needs (cooking, cleaning, laundry or whatever), then stop. You and the children take care of each other, but let him fend for himself.</p><p></p><p>Don't let H guilt you into thinking that your children will suffer from having parents who are no longer together, more than they will suffer from living in a home with two parents who are miserable, and a father who is not treating their mother properly. The damage from that can be lifelong.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that you're having to go through this.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 144698, member: 3907"] Paula, First of all {{{{{hugs}}}}} for your hurting heart. There is no way in the world that you should have to put up with that kind of treatment from your H. He is showing you great disrespect, but he is also showing your sons that it's okay to treat your wife like that, and your daughter that it's okay to be treated that way by your husband. By putting up with that treatment, you are sending them the same message. I agree with others that you need to see a therapist who can help you figure out what you want, and a plan to help you get there. My ex-H treated me the same way that your H is treating you now, so I do understand. You do need to show your H that you will not put up with being treated that way. The principle of Do to Get seems to apply here. If you're taking care of your H's needs (cooking, cleaning, laundry or whatever), then stop. You and the children take care of each other, but let him fend for himself. Don't let H guilt you into thinking that your children will suffer from having parents who are no longer together, more than they will suffer from living in a home with two parents who are miserable, and a father who is not treating their mother properly. The damage from that can be lifelong. I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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