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<blockquote data-quote="ChefPaula1965" data-source="post: 144977" data-attributes="member: 2913"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: darkorchid">Good morning...</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">you know... I am getting very depressed about all this.. All this time I thought that maybe I was being petty with- my H... he doesn't pick up his dirty clothes.. he doesn't thank me for a good meal.. he doesnt put his dirty dish in the sink.. <strong>he doesnt kiss, hug, carress me he is not compassionate ... </strong>(I worried that it was just my mind being petty and me being selfish making all of this about me) I just pawned it of on him being <strong>VERY </strong>very depressed. I had a nervous break down in 2000 ... and he stood by me.. well, he was there anyway.. stoic and "doing the right thing" ... no compassion.. no tlc.. <strong>Is it too much to ask your spouce for tlc?? to care enough to show compassion?? ... </strong>so the other night we are talking and he says to me.. "isn't it my turn" you had your break down... The difference is I checked myself into a hospital... I took the medications the dr. reccomended.. I <strong>ADMITTED </strong>I had a problem.... He has finally, after years of me begging, accepted to take an AD... but I feel bad because I feel this is way too little too late... YES my H will do what he calls the "right thing"... you know staying with me when I am sick.. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">But, other than a "man in the house" and a second income, I don't feel like I have anything... <em>Am I being selfish and petty????</em> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">the more I think about it.. the more I have trouble "putting up" with it.. A few months ago we went to a gas station and I was carying $250 in cash for groceries etc... When we got to the grocery store I thought that I had lost the cash at the gas station.... do you know what he did --- the kids were in the car with us-- - he banged on the steering wheel and told me "you are NEVER to carry cash around agai.. let me handle it... you are ALWAYS losing things--- in front of my kids... yelling at me like I was some kind of little imp.... kids asked me later "what's wrong with daddy?" I simply said.. daddy is very sad and stressed out right now.. just pray for him... </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">I can't do this anymore.. the more I "talked" to you all yesterday, the more I realized that this is a load of bull... and I don't deserve it....</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">YET I don't know what to do... he won't leave the house... the kdis and I would have to move out if I want separation... there are no "hotels" or places in our town that I can stay in... at this point in time in the school year I cannot make my kids change schools.... Should I give him until the end of the school year (may 21) to see what this AD will do?? Honestly, I don't think it will change much... He is a SLOB .. he cares nothing about us..</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">Another peeve about him.... we decided it was ok for him to take a lower paying job so that the kids would not have to go to afterschool care everyday untin 5:45 Pm... so that he could <strong><em>be home with them</em></strong> in the afternoon when they got home from school.... Well, per the kids, "mommy he comes home and sits on the couch right away and turns on the TV..." HE doesn't read with "boo" the 3rd grader that is supposed to read 30 mins per day... he rarely checks homework and/or chores.... takes their word for it is done... and he acts indisposed if the kids get too loud, ask him questions or ask him to "play ball" or something else with them........... TO ME this doesn't constitute a good reason to take a $400 a week cut in pay... he is not parenting at that time.. he is just being physically there... at least in after care the kids will be read to and played with... right??</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #9932cc">Am I venting too much.??? my heart is just SO heavy... I am sorry to load off like this.... </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChefPaula1965, post: 144977, member: 2913"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkorchid]Good morning...[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]you know... I am getting very depressed about all this.. All this time I thought that maybe I was being petty with- my H... he doesn't pick up his dirty clothes.. he doesn't thank me for a good meal.. he doesnt put his dirty dish in the sink.. [B]he doesnt kiss, hug, carress me he is not compassionate ... [/B](I worried that it was just my mind being petty and me being selfish making all of this about me) I just pawned it of on him being [B]VERY [/B]very depressed. I had a nervous break down in 2000 ... and he stood by me.. well, he was there anyway.. stoic and "doing the right thing" ... no compassion.. no tlc.. [B]Is it too much to ask your spouce for tlc?? to care enough to show compassion?? ... [/B]so the other night we are talking and he says to me.. "isn't it my turn" you had your break down... The difference is I checked myself into a hospital... I took the medications the dr. reccomended.. I [B]ADMITTED [/B]I had a problem.... He has finally, after years of me begging, accepted to take an AD... but I feel bad because I feel this is way too little too late... YES my H will do what he calls the "right thing"... you know staying with me when I am sick.. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]But, other than a "man in the house" and a second income, I don't feel like I have anything... [I]Am I being selfish and petty????[/I] [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]the more I think about it.. the more I have trouble "putting up" with it.. A few months ago we went to a gas station and I was carying $250 in cash for groceries etc... When we got to the grocery store I thought that I had lost the cash at the gas station.... do you know what he did --- the kids were in the car with us-- - he banged on the steering wheel and told me "you are NEVER to carry cash around agai.. let me handle it... you are ALWAYS losing things--- in front of my kids... yelling at me like I was some kind of little imp.... kids asked me later "what's wrong with daddy?" I simply said.. daddy is very sad and stressed out right now.. just pray for him... [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]I can't do this anymore.. the more I "talked" to you all yesterday, the more I realized that this is a load of bull... and I don't deserve it....[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]YET I don't know what to do... he won't leave the house... the kdis and I would have to move out if I want separation... there are no "hotels" or places in our town that I can stay in... at this point in time in the school year I cannot make my kids change schools.... Should I give him until the end of the school year (may 21) to see what this AD will do?? Honestly, I don't think it will change much... He is a SLOB .. he cares nothing about us..[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]Another peeve about him.... we decided it was ok for him to take a lower paying job so that the kids would not have to go to afterschool care everyday untin 5:45 Pm... so that he could [B][I]be home with them[/I][/B] in the afternoon when they got home from school.... Well, per the kids, "mommy he comes home and sits on the couch right away and turns on the TV..." HE doesn't read with "boo" the 3rd grader that is supposed to read 30 mins per day... he rarely checks homework and/or chores.... takes their word for it is done... and he acts indisposed if the kids get too loud, ask him questions or ask him to "play ball" or something else with them........... TO ME this doesn't constitute a good reason to take a $400 a week cut in pay... he is not parenting at that time.. he is just being physically there... at least in after care the kids will be read to and played with... right??[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#9932cc]Am I venting too much.??? my heart is just SO heavy... I am sorry to load off like this.... [/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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