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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 145512" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Paula - do not waste your energies snooping, setting up nany cams or spyware. You know what you saw and you know how it makes you feel and again, even if it's acceptable to some, it is not to you. Therefore, you must proceed in a manner that is good for you. </p><p> </p><p>The more you snoop the worse you feel and right now your focus should be on lifting yourself up, not dragging yourself down. Lets say he chooses to look or chat or whatever and you find it with your nanny cam? What then? So, you will know for sure, that's it. And then your heart is ripped open all over again.</p><p> </p><p>Some people do not understand that sometimes it is about the porn, very much so. People such as your H are so detached emotionally, that things like porn, gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc., are the only way in which they can feel in control of some small aspect of their life or can feel free from all their responsibilities. </p><p> </p><p>Marg said some good things about the root of these issues not beginning with porn; the porn is just the obvious in your face, which started you rethinking everything else, the more important issues.</p><p> </p><p>You choose what you can live with and what you cannot. Sending many hugs~</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 145512, member: 2211"] Paula - do not waste your energies snooping, setting up nany cams or spyware. You know what you saw and you know how it makes you feel and again, even if it's acceptable to some, it is not to you. Therefore, you must proceed in a manner that is good for you. The more you snoop the worse you feel and right now your focus should be on lifting yourself up, not dragging yourself down. Lets say he chooses to look or chat or whatever and you find it with your nanny cam? What then? So, you will know for sure, that's it. And then your heart is ripped open all over again. Some people do not understand that sometimes it is about the porn, very much so. People such as your H are so detached emotionally, that things like porn, gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc., are the only way in which they can feel in control of some small aspect of their life or can feel free from all their responsibilities. Marg said some good things about the root of these issues not beginning with porn; the porn is just the obvious in your face, which started you rethinking everything else, the more important issues. You choose what you can live with and what you cannot. Sending many hugs~ [/QUOTE]
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