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The Watercooler
Kinda similar post but from a Gramma point of view...and not warm & fuzzy, sadly!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 605473" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>DDD, I can understand what you're talking about. I think as we get older, our personal landscape shifts considerably, especially if we're facing health issues........... which bring important values like love, family, memories, intimacy, connection, etc, right up to the fore. I'm not entirely in that place, but I'm close. Our kids and grandkids are in different age groups, life looks so different from a younger perspective and yet.............it would feel so much better to us if as one of your children does............. if they could just 'get it' and understand what we now know to be true. </p><p></p><p>SO and I were just talking about leaving our kids/grandkids money.............and in the conversation we realized that his sons have an abundance of resources as do their in-laws, so the 2 grandsons are well taken care of. My granddaughter would be the only one left bereft without us, so our efforts are around her. She is a teenager, so she is looking at life from an entirely different perspective.........I'm sure if I died tomorrow, she would be devastated since I am her main 'parental' unit..........but anything I would leave her would be simply monetary and nothing I value would be appreciated because of her age. She would understand it all better as she grew up, as I did too. I think she would hold on to some piece of me that she knew I valued, but she won't REALLY know the depth of the loss until she grows up more, until she lives more and then those memories will likely be precious to her.</p><p></p><p>I think it's really hard to look at our own passing and what we leave behind to our kids/grandkids in terms of the 'stuff' we leave, whether it's a lot or nothing...............but I do believe in my heart, that all those memories you speak of that are shown in the photo albums and even your books, will be looked at and valued immensely after you've made your final exit. Many of us don't seem to truly know the value of life until we lose someone so important to us, as you've been to your kids and grandkids..........you may not be here to see the way they experience the loss of you and husband, but from reading your posts now for awhile, I think your passing will leave an enormous hole in the lives of many. Perhaps the 'stuff' won't mean too much, but YOU do and will and the memories are what is the most important thing we leave, even if those we leave those memories to aren't aware of it quite yet. They will be. YOU are the precious, valuable inheritance to your kids/grandkids, all that you taught them, all the laughter, all the nights spent listening to them, how you looked at them, how you showed up for them, how you loved them.........that will last for their lifetimes...........no doubt about it........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 605473, member: 13542"] DDD, I can understand what you're talking about. I think as we get older, our personal landscape shifts considerably, especially if we're facing health issues........... which bring important values like love, family, memories, intimacy, connection, etc, right up to the fore. I'm not entirely in that place, but I'm close. Our kids and grandkids are in different age groups, life looks so different from a younger perspective and yet.............it would feel so much better to us if as one of your children does............. if they could just 'get it' and understand what we now know to be true. SO and I were just talking about leaving our kids/grandkids money.............and in the conversation we realized that his sons have an abundance of resources as do their in-laws, so the 2 grandsons are well taken care of. My granddaughter would be the only one left bereft without us, so our efforts are around her. She is a teenager, so she is looking at life from an entirely different perspective.........I'm sure if I died tomorrow, she would be devastated since I am her main 'parental' unit..........but anything I would leave her would be simply monetary and nothing I value would be appreciated because of her age. She would understand it all better as she grew up, as I did too. I think she would hold on to some piece of me that she knew I valued, but she won't REALLY know the depth of the loss until she grows up more, until she lives more and then those memories will likely be precious to her. I think it's really hard to look at our own passing and what we leave behind to our kids/grandkids in terms of the 'stuff' we leave, whether it's a lot or nothing...............but I do believe in my heart, that all those memories you speak of that are shown in the photo albums and even your books, will be looked at and valued immensely after you've made your final exit. Many of us don't seem to truly know the value of life until we lose someone so important to us, as you've been to your kids and grandkids..........you may not be here to see the way they experience the loss of you and husband, but from reading your posts now for awhile, I think your passing will leave an enormous hole in the lives of many. Perhaps the 'stuff' won't mean too much, but YOU do and will and the memories are what is the most important thing we leave, even if those we leave those memories to aren't aware of it quite yet. They will be. YOU are the precious, valuable inheritance to your kids/grandkids, all that you taught them, all the laughter, all the nights spent listening to them, how you looked at them, how you showed up for them, how you loved them.........that will last for their lifetimes...........no doubt about it........ [/QUOTE]
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The Watercooler
Kinda similar post but from a Gramma point of view...and not warm & fuzzy, sadly!
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