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Parent Emeritus
Legal battles, un gratefulness, bone tired, VENT with cherry on top
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654184" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nomad, you have already read my circumstances so you know how much of a parallel there is in our situations: Adoption, ADHD, mid-twenties, brain injury, bipolar. What I did not add is my son is kind- hearted, gullible and vulnerable (he used to be so sweet and loving to me), with very poor judgment. He too has been less hostile, lately. He too seems to gravitate towards people and places where he can be victimized. At the same time he takes advantage of us, tries to dominate us to the point of almost victimizing us. We are the safe haven....but he takes advantage--of us. He is NOT grateful. He takes for granted. He only faults and blames us if he does not get all he wants. Or acts the martyr....</p><p></p><p>It is so hard for me when he is vulnerable, but as you know I have been permitting myself to be eaten alive, almost volunteering.</p><p></p><p>In my case, the why's only sap energy. Where I fall prey is with the "will it get better" (and implicitly I am thinking, will my son get better?) What I am learning from my fellow mothers is, that the important question, is how can I heal? It will get better by our being and staying strong.</p><p></p><p>My sense of your daughter is that she is a kind and loving soul who knows right from wrong. I have faith that in her core she knows how to live, because your love and care taught her this. As I write this I realize that I must find this faith in my son, and let him learn to act from his core which too is loving and kind. Does this make sense? </p><p></p><p>We cannot protect them from life. My heart breaks for our children. I feel envy of (and anger towards) young people whose lives are easy. I cannot help myself. Yet I know that there are no easy answers for anybody. We must all find our way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654184, member: 18958"] Nomad, you have already read my circumstances so you know how much of a parallel there is in our situations: Adoption, ADHD, mid-twenties, brain injury, bipolar. What I did not add is my son is kind- hearted, gullible and vulnerable (he used to be so sweet and loving to me), with very poor judgment. He too has been less hostile, lately. He too seems to gravitate towards people and places where he can be victimized. At the same time he takes advantage of us, tries to dominate us to the point of almost victimizing us. We are the safe haven....but he takes advantage--of us. He is NOT grateful. He takes for granted. He only faults and blames us if he does not get all he wants. Or acts the martyr.... It is so hard for me when he is vulnerable, but as you know I have been permitting myself to be eaten alive, almost volunteering. In my case, the why's only sap energy. Where I fall prey is with the "will it get better" (and implicitly I am thinking, will my son get better?) What I am learning from my fellow mothers is, that the important question, is how can I heal? It will get better by our being and staying strong. My sense of your daughter is that she is a kind and loving soul who knows right from wrong. I have faith that in her core she knows how to live, because your love and care taught her this. As I write this I realize that I must find this faith in my son, and let him learn to act from his core which too is loving and kind. Does this make sense? We cannot protect them from life. My heart breaks for our children. I feel envy of (and anger towards) young people whose lives are easy. I cannot help myself. Yet I know that there are no easy answers for anybody. We must all find our way. [/QUOTE]
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