Let me look into my crystal ball.......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by keista, May 21, 2012.

  1. keista

    keista New Member

    ........I see Keista going to the school to pick up DD1 because she's melting down. Again.

    Why am I predicting this? Well there's the whole last week of school/transition thing going on, but she also just called me twice to bring her something, and I refused to bring it to her. What could be so important that it will set her off? A 3 foot long stuffed fish! Yup! You heard that right folks! Apparently today is stuffed animal day at school and she forgot. She wants her fish, and tomorrow is no good because it's science day and the the fish is so big that the bus driver probably won't allow it on the bus anyway, so Mom, PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE! bring it in? :flirtysmile3: Ah, NO!
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    How far away is the school? Ours is close so I would have taken it. I know what it's like to to be odd man out, the one without, the oddball. I try to keep my kids from being in that position where reasonable. Also, difficult child 1 is very forgetful so it wasn't uncommon for him to forget about "special" days, especially over a week-end. That's one battle I wouldn't fight unless it was a very long drive or I was at work and couldn't leave (yet).

    I hope you don't have to go get her and that she is able to get past it but, if she's anything like difficult child 1, you're probably right.
     
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Hopefully, it won't go as badly as you think it will.

    Good luck!
     
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Maybe I should have taken the fish in. But she had all weekend to let me know about it. It just irked me to no end.

    I'm actually prepared to pick her up every day this week. As I was digesting her meltdown from Friday and considering those "large" transitions, I remembered that last year I picked her up early every day in the last week. There are no academics so it's very unstructured and the classroom gets very loud.

    So, when I told her no it's also because I don't want to be making two trips.
     
  5. HopeRemains

    HopeRemains New Member

    I know the feeling of just waiting for something to happen... I have anxiety issues and am now ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop, be it difficult child or something else. It's been very bad for the past few weeks. I hope that she is able to cope a little better this year! I actually never considered that that may be why difficult child was being a bit more obsinate lately until I read a thread here about end of year activities that are too much for some to handle. At least from now on I will be a bit more mentally prepared for it. Good luck to you both!
     
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    difficult child 1 asserts that the last 2 months of school are unnecessary. Maybe he is right about the last few weeks of school.
     
  7. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    There have been 3 occasions the school year ended with Angel in the psychiatric hospital. It was like she never got proper closure for the school year, chance to exchange phone #s etc.

    Whether I took her the fish or not would depend on several things but the biggest would be did I know about it ahead of time? Because if I knew about it on Friday and had it sitting in the basket next to the door this morning and said "don't forget your fish" when she ran by me headed out the door; I probably wouldn't bring that fish even if I was coming to the school anyway.

    Natural consequences seems to be what my kids understand, punishments I hand out even if fair can result in injuries and major property damage. You said she had all weekend to tell you about this - tells me that she pulled a "POP QUIZ" - sorry I'm the teacher not the student and I refuse to do pop quizzes.

    "GET HERE NOW" calls from the school are not pop quizzes (though they come out of nowhere and I hate them) and I do drop everything and fly for those. UGH just thought about how many of those runs I made over school staff taking away Angel's beanie babies, she keeps them out of sight now but it is in her IEP that they are not to take them from her for any reason besides using it as a weapon.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Regardless of if she melts down, I would have done JUST what you did. It can be hard to be 'odd man out', but given that she had the entire weekend to tell you, this is the natural consequence. Unless you want to be making that run several times a week for something she could not be bothered to tell you about, the only course of action is just what you did.

    Just because they are difficult children who can and do have meltdowns is no reason to indulge this type of behavior because it results in them thinking that all you do all day is sit around waiting to be their willing handmaiden. That is NOT the appropriate view of any authority figure, most esp a parent. I am not saying that you shoudl not ever go to school if she calls, or if the school calls. But this is the kind of thing she will NEVER learn to cope with if you rescue her constantly from natural consequences. on the other hand, if there was something special tonight that a meltdown would have ruined, I might have done it for her to keep the peace for the rest of the family.
     
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    Woot! She made it the whole day, but walked in the door babbling about her fish! Told her she could play with it now then started beating on it (in a playful juvenile manner) She'll get over it.

    I'm happier for the big picture that she got through the day regardless.
     
  10. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I am so not consistent with this. It depends on what is going on at my office. I can't just get up and leave and go do whatever whenever she calls. I can be forgetful and have to go home and get things done sometimes and sometimes I forget a due date on something and have to really work on geting that bill paid that day. I believe that kids should sometimes be given the benefit of the doubt too and helped. I won't let it get out of control, before I tell them I am sorry you forgot that but today is a day that I cannot come and help you out. I have also said in the morning. I will be in a meeting or out of town most of the day, or I will be working alone, so I cannot leave my job duties today. Make sure that you have everything you need for today. There are also those days when Mom, has been really mistreated or talked to badly and she just doesn't want to do anything to help that certain child at the moment. Loving Mom will return when loving child does. I hope today is not bad and she can deal with it today.
     
  11. keista

    keista New Member

    Jody, that's exactly how I approach things as well. This fish, today, just was not a priority.

    Unfortunately, thinking about it I get more confused and sad. See, she's 11 and in 5th grade and stuffed animals are a REALLY big deal at that age. MY problem? Even though she's my baby I don't see 11 when I look at her. She looks 14-15 (NO FREAKIN' LIE!) and honestly my brain just doesn't make the right connections every time. Even if it did, I probably wouldn't have brought it down to her. I feel gypped somehow. Or maybe I get these moments to remind me that she is indeed 11.
     
  12. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm glad to hear that she made it through the day!
     
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