Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letter from difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 566907" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Awww, JKF, I'm sorry. I can so easily envision you clutching that letter and crying in the bathroom, it brings back a lot of memories............so much pain for us Mom's, it's unfathomable in it's depth. I do agree with you that it will make the next step in the detaching process a tad easier. I've found that those moments, painful as they are, where we have a better glimpse of the reality of the world in which our difficult child's live, unhinge us a fraction more from the drama of their lives. And, I know how those sobbing episodes take it out of you. However, they also clear the air a little more and often bring more clarity to the situation, as another level of your parental expectations, beliefs, wishes, understanding and visions for what you believed to be true, move aside a little bit more to let the truth become known. I think, we as parents go through our own transformation as we accept the reality of who our kids really are as opposed to who we want them to be. Sigh. Seeing that all written down must have felt like a blow to your heart, I know I've felt that sometimes when my difficult child does or says something so outlandish I have to take a step back and really look at her and realize that she and I live in polar opposite realities...........it seems like a never ending movie..........but really, it does get better, it does get easier, at some point, (in my experience anyway), you realize who they are and begin to accept that, for your own sanity and peace of mind..............and something in your heart lets go and you breathe more easily and calm down. That hold our difficult child's have on our hearts, the one which terrifies us and leaves us weak from worry, begins to loosen little by little until, finally, that tightness around our hearts goes away.....and our life can continue in a healthier and much more peaceful way........... </p><p></p><p>I also agree it is a good idea to show that letter to your younger son's therapist, he may not be old enough to decipher that in a positive way, especially if he is having a hard time now. I recall, many years ago when I was raising my sister, who is bi-polar with many other diagnoses,..... she kept running away and getting in trouble and my daughter was so young then, just a little girl, and one day I was talking to her about my sister and she just burst into tears, she was terrified that her Aunt, my sister, was not safe "out there" and she was very, very worried. Your younger son is going through his own stuff about his brother and that letter may or may not be a good thing for him.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there JKF, as you can see, you are not alone, you have all of us wounded warrior Mom's surrounding you with our understanding and support. I hope you're feeling better today............many gentle HUGS for you..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 566907, member: 13542"] Awww, JKF, I'm sorry. I can so easily envision you clutching that letter and crying in the bathroom, it brings back a lot of memories............so much pain for us Mom's, it's unfathomable in it's depth. I do agree with you that it will make the next step in the detaching process a tad easier. I've found that those moments, painful as they are, where we have a better glimpse of the reality of the world in which our difficult child's live, unhinge us a fraction more from the drama of their lives. And, I know how those sobbing episodes take it out of you. However, they also clear the air a little more and often bring more clarity to the situation, as another level of your parental expectations, beliefs, wishes, understanding and visions for what you believed to be true, move aside a little bit more to let the truth become known. I think, we as parents go through our own transformation as we accept the reality of who our kids really are as opposed to who we want them to be. Sigh. Seeing that all written down must have felt like a blow to your heart, I know I've felt that sometimes when my difficult child does or says something so outlandish I have to take a step back and really look at her and realize that she and I live in polar opposite realities...........it seems like a never ending movie..........but really, it does get better, it does get easier, at some point, (in my experience anyway), you realize who they are and begin to accept that, for your own sanity and peace of mind..............and something in your heart lets go and you breathe more easily and calm down. That hold our difficult child's have on our hearts, the one which terrifies us and leaves us weak from worry, begins to loosen little by little until, finally, that tightness around our hearts goes away.....and our life can continue in a healthier and much more peaceful way........... I also agree it is a good idea to show that letter to your younger son's therapist, he may not be old enough to decipher that in a positive way, especially if he is having a hard time now. I recall, many years ago when I was raising my sister, who is bi-polar with many other diagnoses,..... she kept running away and getting in trouble and my daughter was so young then, just a little girl, and one day I was talking to her about my sister and she just burst into tears, she was terrified that her Aunt, my sister, was not safe "out there" and she was very, very worried. Your younger son is going through his own stuff about his brother and that letter may or may not be a good thing for him. Hang in there JKF, as you can see, you are not alone, you have all of us wounded warrior Mom's surrounding you with our understanding and support. I hope you're feeling better today............many gentle HUGS for you.......... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letter from difficult child
Top