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living with negotiators
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 104493" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>threCs, I can't tell you how many times it's been me lying on the floor outside the bathroom beating my head. I feel your pain, having been there done that more than I care to think about.</p><p></p><p>I agree with GG that it is good to negotiate (some) with our kids. However, right at the time that he's supposed to do something such as get in the shower and then off to bed is probably not the best time.</p><p></p><p>For deadline-type things, we had our difficult child on a very strict routine and had scheduled posted for him (e.g. 6:45 pm. Clear away toys and prepare for shower, 6:50 pm, select clean pyjamas and go into the bathroom, 7:00 pm get into the shower...etc.) all the way up to bedtime. Same sort of thing for the morning tasks.</p><p></p><p>If something was to be negotiated, it had to take place at least an hour before the scheduled activity. So...if difficult child wanted to watch a special TV program that ran until after bedtime, he would have to tell us at dinner so we had time to plan for it. We would then write the change on the schedule.</p><p></p><p>For some reason, having it all posted on the wall took a lot of the heat out of the arguments. It was no longer "mom's picking on me, she never lets me do anything". It became, "this is my schedule".</p><p></p><p>Best of luck and hang in there.</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 104493, member: 3907"] threCs, I can't tell you how many times it's been me lying on the floor outside the bathroom beating my head. I feel your pain, having been there done that more than I care to think about. I agree with GG that it is good to negotiate (some) with our kids. However, right at the time that he's supposed to do something such as get in the shower and then off to bed is probably not the best time. For deadline-type things, we had our difficult child on a very strict routine and had scheduled posted for him (e.g. 6:45 pm. Clear away toys and prepare for shower, 6:50 pm, select clean pyjamas and go into the bathroom, 7:00 pm get into the shower...etc.) all the way up to bedtime. Same sort of thing for the morning tasks. If something was to be negotiated, it had to take place at least an hour before the scheduled activity. So...if difficult child wanted to watch a special TV program that ran until after bedtime, he would have to tell us at dinner so we had time to plan for it. We would then write the change on the schedule. For some reason, having it all posted on the wall took a lot of the heat out of the arguments. It was no longer "mom's picking on me, she never lets me do anything". It became, "this is my schedule". Best of luck and hang in there. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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