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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 320164" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Thank you for all the support. I think I'm gradually coming out of my "numbness." Among the notes I have posted on the wall in my bathroom--I always read a few while I brush my teeth<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />--I keep re-reading the "personal bill of rights" a counselor gave me some time ago. For this particular situation, the one that says, "I have the right to say no to demands I cannot meet," keeps jumping out at me. In my heart, I know I'm going the only way I can go.</p><p> </p><p>Other stressors have eased, and that has helped a lot too. Ending the tangle with the school system was huge. Really exciting is that my youngest seems to be on the mend for the time being. This week, she had her first decent tympanogram in months and has improved hearing for now. On this one, I'll worry about later when I have to and enjoy the relief in the meantime!</p><p> </p><p>E-mails from difficult child continue. I know she is trying to draw me in--probably realizing on some level that she's made a mess and needs her mom--but I'm holding my ground because I think I have to. I've refused to speak to her, because I don't think I'm emotionally able to do that. I just keep stressing that I love her, that I'm not trying to hurt her, but that I have to protect myself emotionally and hope she will be realistic about her resources and see that the chance of my rescuing her from her choices is zero. This has brought some nasty responses from her, but I think the only help I can truly be to her now is to continue to point out certain realities and hope she'll not base her decisions on the hope that Prince Charming will solve all her problems--or that I'm her fairy godmother. As we all know, Cinderella is a lie, all the fairy godmothers are dead, and Prince Charming is more likely a frog--and an unemployed frog with no skills to draw a decent income in the foreseeable future, I might add. </p><p> </p><p>If she's to be saved, she's going to have to save herself--as well as get a realistic picture of her capabilities where this child is concerned. She's got to snap out of the picture of the cozy cuteness and clue into the certainty of the sleepless nights, the crying she'll not always be able to stop, and the 24/7 demands. I couldn't have done it at 16, and she sure does have a lot more obstacles than I had at that age.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 320164, member: 8226"] Thank you for all the support. I think I'm gradually coming out of my "numbness." Among the notes I have posted on the wall in my bathroom--I always read a few while I brush my teeth:)--I keep re-reading the "personal bill of rights" a counselor gave me some time ago. For this particular situation, the one that says, "I have the right to say no to demands I cannot meet," keeps jumping out at me. In my heart, I know I'm going the only way I can go. Other stressors have eased, and that has helped a lot too. Ending the tangle with the school system was huge. Really exciting is that my youngest seems to be on the mend for the time being. This week, she had her first decent tympanogram in months and has improved hearing for now. On this one, I'll worry about later when I have to and enjoy the relief in the meantime! E-mails from difficult child continue. I know she is trying to draw me in--probably realizing on some level that she's made a mess and needs her mom--but I'm holding my ground because I think I have to. I've refused to speak to her, because I don't think I'm emotionally able to do that. I just keep stressing that I love her, that I'm not trying to hurt her, but that I have to protect myself emotionally and hope she will be realistic about her resources and see that the chance of my rescuing her from her choices is zero. This has brought some nasty responses from her, but I think the only help I can truly be to her now is to continue to point out certain realities and hope she'll not base her decisions on the hope that Prince Charming will solve all her problems--or that I'm her fairy godmother. As we all know, Cinderella is a lie, all the fairy godmothers are dead, and Prince Charming is more likely a frog--and an unemployed frog with no skills to draw a decent income in the foreseeable future, I might add. If she's to be saved, she's going to have to save herself--as well as get a realistic picture of her capabilities where this child is concerned. She's got to snap out of the picture of the cozy cuteness and clue into the certainty of the sleepless nights, the crying she'll not always be able to stop, and the 24/7 demands. I couldn't have done it at 16, and she sure does have a lot more obstacles than I had at that age. [/QUOTE]
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