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<blockquote data-quote="elmo1015" data-source="post: 622951" data-attributes="member: 16749"><p>I know it's been a while since I have posted. I am sorry for that. But things got hectic here. We had 8 people living in my house. Let me start from my last post, if I can remember. </p><p></p><p>So he didn't go to the access center like he promised. I should have known then that it wasn't going to work. He got a pretty good job a month after he got out. And things were going fairly well for a while. The baby was born the day after Christmas. I should say that even before the baby was born I could see it was not his biological child. However, he did sign the birth certificate. He started to be a good father. Then as time went started doing less and less with the baby. The mother went into major postpartum depression. He stepped up and did more for a short period. Then she pulled out of her depression and he went back to doing less and less. Somewhere along the way he started drinking. I told him that he was not allowed to drink in my house but he didn't listen. One night something happened (a blowup) and he did go to the access center (not sure if it was before or after the baby). Well all they did was give him a referral. He never followed up and has still not gone to any counseling. Well he had another blowup about a month ago and this one was the biggest one I have ever seen out of him. </p><p></p><p>It started over nothing! He was teasing the baby's mom about something and she didn't take it as teasing. He ended up taking a pillow and smacking her with it because she wouldn't give him the keys to the car. Well after that she gave them to him but he wanted to take the baby with him and we wouldn't let him. At one point I jumped in the passenger window to stop him from leaving and he grabbed my arm and attempted to break it in half. Well he did leave, but without the baby because he had to pick up someone from work. While he was gone, the baby and mother left for the night. When he got back and the baby wasn't here he flipped out. He literally terrorized me off and on for about 2 1/2 hours. The cops did show up but they didn't arrest him because I didn't tell them what he had done to me. </p><p></p><p>The next day Sunday my husband left with my 11 yo and wouldn't come back until difficult child was out. Needless to say that was about a month ago, and we just now came home Friday. I stayed in the house Sunday night and Monday morning on my way into work I called and started the process for him to go into a partial residential treatment program. It wasn't completely set up by Monday night, so I stayed another night. On Tuesday it was set up. He was to go in that night at 8:00 pm after he got off work and went home to get some clothes. He got some things together but didn't start to leave until 8:00 so, his excuse was that he couldn't go now he missed the appointment. I told him that it wasn't an exact and he could go. He refused so I left that night and slept in my truck in a parking lot. The next day he said he would go that night. He did go to the access center but didn't stay. He said they told him he only needed counseling and not the partial residential treatment. I was livid. Then he threw a guilt trip on me and I fell for it so I stayed at the house that night. The next morning, I was making coffee and he come up behind me to get a glass out of the cabinet and it scared me. So I went to work and decided I was not staying the house that night. Again I slept in my truck in a parking lot. The next day I called the access center and asked why they didn't admit him. The guy told me that difficult child refused to stay. Again, I was livid. </p><p></p><p>During this time my husband and 11 yo stayed in a hotel Sunday and Monday, then went to stay at my husband's brother's house about 45 minutes away. On Thursday I had called my husband and he flat out told me that he was not bringing me to his brother's house. I was devastated. At that moment I thought my marriage was over. On the way to work the next day I had to pull my truck over because I was started to hyperventilate because I was crying so hard. After about 10 minutes of screaming at the top of lungs and smoking a cigarette so I didn't hyperventilate. I resumed on my way to work. I was still crying once I got to work but was finally able to calm down. That night hubby and I talked and he took me to his brother's with him. Then it got bad again with us because I had been taking difficult child to work after we got back into town. Thursday night, he left town without me. We had been parking one of our vehicles at friend's house and only driving one. I didn't know what to do at that point. I had met up with a friend and she wouldn't let me sleep in my truck anymore. She was mad I had in the first place. So I told her I was going to get a room that night.</p><p></p><p>I got a room at a motel down the road from my house, because it was the only one with a room. Not sure why all the rooms everywhere were booked but it was hard to find a room anywhere. Well on the way when I was checking in was the weekly rate. The next morning I decided to get a room for the week. Then I knew I had somewhere to rest my head at night. The next night my 11 yo was at a friend's house for the night. I went by to see him because it had been a few days since I had seen him. Hubby was there too and we decided to talk. He came back to my room that I had gotten for the week. And he stayed with me and we talked. Not sure anything was resolved but he was beside me that night. The next night he went back to his brother's because that's where all of his and my son's stuff was. I had an event I was volunteering at the next day and I had already paid for the room so I didn't go. I didn't see until late in the afternoon that day. Again, I believed our marriage was over. </p><p></p><p>For the next week he was flip flopping between the room and his brother's. Finally, I spoke up and told him that I couldn't go on like we were anymore and I wanted to know if he was divorcing me. We actually talked and resolved some things. The next day he brought back all his stuff from his brother's. We got the room for another week and we were trying to get difficult child out of the house. Tuesday night difficult child called me crying. I guess he finally realized we weren't coming back until he was gone. On Wednesday I took him to work and he said that he didn't have anywhere to go but if he had the money from our tax return that we had talked about giving him he would move out. I told difficult child that he could still go to the program and he would have a place to go and he would get help. He didn't like that idea so I went back and told hubby and it was decided that we would give him the money but he had to leave that night. </p><p></p><p>We gave him the money last Wednesday night. We didn't go back to the house until Thursday. We checked out of the room on Friday. And last night, difficult child called me wanting food. He was already out of money. I have detached myself from difficult child. He only cares about himself and no one else. I am not sure what happened to him but he is not the child I raised. </p><p></p><p>He called last night asking for money for food. I didn't give it to him. He also just called again while I was typing this up. He wanted to talk. I refused. Nothing has changed and nothing will until he realizes that he needs help. He's not welcome in my house. I don't want to see or hear from him. I am done. I can't do what I have been doing for the last 3 or 4 years anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elmo1015, post: 622951, member: 16749"] I know it's been a while since I have posted. I am sorry for that. But things got hectic here. We had 8 people living in my house. Let me start from my last post, if I can remember. So he didn't go to the access center like he promised. I should have known then that it wasn't going to work. He got a pretty good job a month after he got out. And things were going fairly well for a while. The baby was born the day after Christmas. I should say that even before the baby was born I could see it was not his biological child. However, he did sign the birth certificate. He started to be a good father. Then as time went started doing less and less with the baby. The mother went into major postpartum depression. He stepped up and did more for a short period. Then she pulled out of her depression and he went back to doing less and less. Somewhere along the way he started drinking. I told him that he was not allowed to drink in my house but he didn't listen. One night something happened (a blowup) and he did go to the access center (not sure if it was before or after the baby). Well all they did was give him a referral. He never followed up and has still not gone to any counseling. Well he had another blowup about a month ago and this one was the biggest one I have ever seen out of him. It started over nothing! He was teasing the baby's mom about something and she didn't take it as teasing. He ended up taking a pillow and smacking her with it because she wouldn't give him the keys to the car. Well after that she gave them to him but he wanted to take the baby with him and we wouldn't let him. At one point I jumped in the passenger window to stop him from leaving and he grabbed my arm and attempted to break it in half. Well he did leave, but without the baby because he had to pick up someone from work. While he was gone, the baby and mother left for the night. When he got back and the baby wasn't here he flipped out. He literally terrorized me off and on for about 2 1/2 hours. The cops did show up but they didn't arrest him because I didn't tell them what he had done to me. The next day Sunday my husband left with my 11 yo and wouldn't come back until difficult child was out. Needless to say that was about a month ago, and we just now came home Friday. I stayed in the house Sunday night and Monday morning on my way into work I called and started the process for him to go into a partial residential treatment program. It wasn't completely set up by Monday night, so I stayed another night. On Tuesday it was set up. He was to go in that night at 8:00 pm after he got off work and went home to get some clothes. He got some things together but didn't start to leave until 8:00 so, his excuse was that he couldn't go now he missed the appointment. I told him that it wasn't an exact and he could go. He refused so I left that night and slept in my truck in a parking lot. The next day he said he would go that night. He did go to the access center but didn't stay. He said they told him he only needed counseling and not the partial residential treatment. I was livid. Then he threw a guilt trip on me and I fell for it so I stayed at the house that night. The next morning, I was making coffee and he come up behind me to get a glass out of the cabinet and it scared me. So I went to work and decided I was not staying the house that night. Again I slept in my truck in a parking lot. The next day I called the access center and asked why they didn't admit him. The guy told me that difficult child refused to stay. Again, I was livid. During this time my husband and 11 yo stayed in a hotel Sunday and Monday, then went to stay at my husband's brother's house about 45 minutes away. On Thursday I had called my husband and he flat out told me that he was not bringing me to his brother's house. I was devastated. At that moment I thought my marriage was over. On the way to work the next day I had to pull my truck over because I was started to hyperventilate because I was crying so hard. After about 10 minutes of screaming at the top of lungs and smoking a cigarette so I didn't hyperventilate. I resumed on my way to work. I was still crying once I got to work but was finally able to calm down. That night hubby and I talked and he took me to his brother's with him. Then it got bad again with us because I had been taking difficult child to work after we got back into town. Thursday night, he left town without me. We had been parking one of our vehicles at friend's house and only driving one. I didn't know what to do at that point. I had met up with a friend and she wouldn't let me sleep in my truck anymore. She was mad I had in the first place. So I told her I was going to get a room that night. I got a room at a motel down the road from my house, because it was the only one with a room. Not sure why all the rooms everywhere were booked but it was hard to find a room anywhere. Well on the way when I was checking in was the weekly rate. The next morning I decided to get a room for the week. Then I knew I had somewhere to rest my head at night. The next night my 11 yo was at a friend's house for the night. I went by to see him because it had been a few days since I had seen him. Hubby was there too and we decided to talk. He came back to my room that I had gotten for the week. And he stayed with me and we talked. Not sure anything was resolved but he was beside me that night. The next night he went back to his brother's because that's where all of his and my son's stuff was. I had an event I was volunteering at the next day and I had already paid for the room so I didn't go. I didn't see until late in the afternoon that day. Again, I believed our marriage was over. For the next week he was flip flopping between the room and his brother's. Finally, I spoke up and told him that I couldn't go on like we were anymore and I wanted to know if he was divorcing me. We actually talked and resolved some things. The next day he brought back all his stuff from his brother's. We got the room for another week and we were trying to get difficult child out of the house. Tuesday night difficult child called me crying. I guess he finally realized we weren't coming back until he was gone. On Wednesday I took him to work and he said that he didn't have anywhere to go but if he had the money from our tax return that we had talked about giving him he would move out. I told difficult child that he could still go to the program and he would have a place to go and he would get help. He didn't like that idea so I went back and told hubby and it was decided that we would give him the money but he had to leave that night. We gave him the money last Wednesday night. We didn't go back to the house until Thursday. We checked out of the room on Friday. And last night, difficult child called me wanting food. He was already out of money. I have detached myself from difficult child. He only cares about himself and no one else. I am not sure what happened to him but he is not the child I raised. He called last night asking for money for food. I didn't give it to him. He also just called again while I was typing this up. He wanted to talk. I refused. Nothing has changed and nothing will until he realizes that he needs help. He's not welcome in my house. I don't want to see or hear from him. I am done. I can't do what I have been doing for the last 3 or 4 years anymore. [/QUOTE]
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