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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 623316" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Elmo,</p><p></p><p>I so sympathize as I have been there. My son has had several arrests and has also used Spice as well as other drugs. Don't give up hope forever....I do agree with the idea of detaching with love, meaning set good boundaries and take care of yourself and find ways to not be so caught up in what is going on with him. Impossible I know but try to take steps in that direction. You dont have control over him, his life or his decisions.</p><p></p><p>So as part of the boundaries.... I do think you should get him out of your house (if he is not already) and reclaim your home as your sanctuary. Dont give him any money... he will use it for drugs. If he is going to keep using drugs then he needs to find his own place to live or not.....</p><p></p><p>You may have read my story and in many ways it is similar to yours. My son has been to many rehabs... and a 18 months ago was homeless... That was totally awful for me as I was worried terribly about him but we let him be homeless. Eventually he wanted to come in from the cold and agreed to rehab..... did that and did well for awhile and relapsed.....many things happened but eventually he was arrested and spent some time in jail. Got into drug court. We told the court that he could not come home and live with us (we have a younger daughter which made that decision very clear to us). So drug court eventually found him long term residential treatment. He has now been there for 5 months and is doing well! It is the longest he has stayed in treatment and he seems to be getting on track. I know very well this could change but for the moment I am mostly hopeful.</p><p></p><p>So my advice is dont completely turn your back on him.... stay in touch, continue to let him know you love him but have good firm and clear boundaries about what you will and will not do for him. For me with my son that includes not having him live with me, not giving him any money, not making things easy on him. However I will buy him a meal some place, I did get him a sleeping bag etc. Now that he is in rehab I am getting him a few things and giving a bit of money for stuff. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there... this is a tough journey.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 623316, member: 15801"] Elmo, I so sympathize as I have been there. My son has had several arrests and has also used Spice as well as other drugs. Don't give up hope forever....I do agree with the idea of detaching with love, meaning set good boundaries and take care of yourself and find ways to not be so caught up in what is going on with him. Impossible I know but try to take steps in that direction. You dont have control over him, his life or his decisions. So as part of the boundaries.... I do think you should get him out of your house (if he is not already) and reclaim your home as your sanctuary. Dont give him any money... he will use it for drugs. If he is going to keep using drugs then he needs to find his own place to live or not..... You may have read my story and in many ways it is similar to yours. My son has been to many rehabs... and a 18 months ago was homeless... That was totally awful for me as I was worried terribly about him but we let him be homeless. Eventually he wanted to come in from the cold and agreed to rehab..... did that and did well for awhile and relapsed.....many things happened but eventually he was arrested and spent some time in jail. Got into drug court. We told the court that he could not come home and live with us (we have a younger daughter which made that decision very clear to us). So drug court eventually found him long term residential treatment. He has now been there for 5 months and is doing well! It is the longest he has stayed in treatment and he seems to be getting on track. I know very well this could change but for the moment I am mostly hopeful. So my advice is dont completely turn your back on him.... stay in touch, continue to let him know you love him but have good firm and clear boundaries about what you will and will not do for him. For me with my son that includes not having him live with me, not giving him any money, not making things easy on him. However I will buy him a meal some place, I did get him a sleeping bag etc. Now that he is in rehab I am getting him a few things and giving a bit of money for stuff. Hang in there... this is a tough journey. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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