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Long time lurker with difficult child...
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<blockquote data-quote="cyncan" data-source="post: 181569"><p>Hello - I am also a long time lurker and not only have the same feelings as you - we have acted on them. My husband is the custodial parent for his two kids - GFGSS17 and GFGSD15. His son has been diag with Aspergers and ADHD. His daughter was diag with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ADHD and an Adjustment Disorder. </p><p> </p><p>We raised them together since they were 5 and 6 - mom out of the picture most of the time.</p><p> </p><p>Son is doing very well - excelling at school - has plans for future, responsible - a little immature - but that is to be expected. He does have his issues - but nothing like SD.</p><p> </p><p>Being Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - we knew it would get worse when she turned into a teenager. During her early years there were many psychiatrists, medications, group therapy and ultimately an overdose of one of her medications (psychiatrists determined - since she had a different story each time - that not a 'true' attempt - but definately an attention thing) - and a psychiatric hospital stay. In between - she caused such anger, pain and hurt in our home - we are all affected. For most of son's life - everything was focused on SD and her issues. She never cared who she turned on or hurt - as long as she got what she wanted. There was lying, stealing, manipulating and finally false abuse stories.</p><p> </p><p>We finally had enough with the last false abuse story in April and sent her to live with her Mom - the custody papers will be final in September.</p><p> </p><p>I have loads of guilt - did we do enough, did we try hard enough - what did we do wrong - but in the end - she had to want to change - even a little - and she does not - is not interested. I know we are good parents - cause SS is doing ok. </p><p> </p><p>Eventhough we knew things would change in the home when she was gone - we did not realize how much. Even the dog is happier. The stress level is very low - we are working on getting our tolerance and patience back. SS is loving having Mom and Dad happy again - I heard so many times over the years from him - I just want you and Dad to smile again.</p><p> </p><p>We made the choice to save the remaining family members - not that we don't love SD - we just don't like who she is or her choices -- and she will never live with us again.</p><p> </p><p>These are natural feelings - having someone cause so much pain in the home - naturally you don't want them there...</p><p> </p><p>I will do a signature later to give all the facts....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cyncan, post: 181569"] Hello - I am also a long time lurker and not only have the same feelings as you - we have acted on them. My husband is the custodial parent for his two kids - GFGSS17 and GFGSD15. His son has been diag with Aspergers and ADHD. His daughter was diag with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ADHD and an Adjustment Disorder. We raised them together since they were 5 and 6 - mom out of the picture most of the time. Son is doing very well - excelling at school - has plans for future, responsible - a little immature - but that is to be expected. He does have his issues - but nothing like SD. Being Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - we knew it would get worse when she turned into a teenager. During her early years there were many psychiatrists, medications, group therapy and ultimately an overdose of one of her medications (psychiatrists determined - since she had a different story each time - that not a 'true' attempt - but definately an attention thing) - and a psychiatric hospital stay. In between - she caused such anger, pain and hurt in our home - we are all affected. For most of son's life - everything was focused on SD and her issues. She never cared who she turned on or hurt - as long as she got what she wanted. There was lying, stealing, manipulating and finally false abuse stories. We finally had enough with the last false abuse story in April and sent her to live with her Mom - the custody papers will be final in September. I have loads of guilt - did we do enough, did we try hard enough - what did we do wrong - but in the end - she had to want to change - even a little - and she does not - is not interested. I know we are good parents - cause SS is doing ok. Eventhough we knew things would change in the home when she was gone - we did not realize how much. Even the dog is happier. The stress level is very low - we are working on getting our tolerance and patience back. SS is loving having Mom and Dad happy again - I heard so many times over the years from him - I just want you and Dad to smile again. We made the choice to save the remaining family members - not that we don't love SD - we just don't like who she is or her choices -- and she will never live with us again. These are natural feelings - having someone cause so much pain in the home - naturally you don't want them there... I will do a signature later to give all the facts.... [/QUOTE]
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