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<blockquote data-quote="lovingmum96" data-source="post: 361546"><p>working with the pediatrician, I finally got EX to agree to an evaluation, but that's going to take several weeks to set up, so with our schedule we are probably looking at the Fall. </p><p> </p><p>Not sure about Aspbergers since she's a social butterfly (?). We tried therapy (twice -- the first time EX pulled out the kids after a month by threatening the provider because he felt that the information disclosed would be used against him in court) but since we always have to work with EX, health care providers are stuck in the middle (he's extremely manipulative and a liar who will do anything it takes to "get his kids". Lately, that has been manipulating difficult child through the phone -- ds is able to see through it more than difficult child who has simply unravelled as a result.) </p><p> </p><p>yes, it's true about the step parent thing, but husband is mild with the kids. Kids have told us in the past that EX has told them they don't have to listen because he's not their dad....I agree lots of kids don't like step parents, but they don't call them retard, f--ing id-- or various other extremely nasty comments designed to humiliate and bully. The strange thing is that she can go from 0 to blowing her top in seconds then laughing with friends on the phone (or her dad, describing how evil we are, asking her to clean her room or how she can't go to the field trip because she cussed us out (he offers to pay....)), then striding across the house just taking what she wants (because we are intimidated or avoiding another "incident"). It's just really bizarre.</p><p> </p><p>does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a child like this? people tell you that you are not disciplining her enough and yet she doesn't care about consequences anyway. She's taller than me by several inches and looks me in the eye when I tell her "you can't talk to me in that manner/have that/do that" etc and she says "I just did. What are you going to do about it?" </p><p> </p><p>it's like difficult child transformed, gradually. How do you live with/set limits with a child like this? do medications help if therapy didn't? (or both together?)</p><p> </p><p>really mourning the loss of my child, who I've lost before my own eyes. In the past, she's been remorseful of her angry outbursts but now she feels justified and doesn't "snap back" to herself. She has a distorted sense of what is happening and simply can't feel the love coming her way from me....she's always been one of those kids that could never get enough time/love/affection to feel "whole" but the past few months have been awful (coinciding with puberty -- ).</p><p> </p><p>thank you. It's sad, but helpful, to know others are experiencing similar (or worse) challenges. May God give you patience and strength.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovingmum96, post: 361546"] working with the pediatrician, I finally got EX to agree to an evaluation, but that's going to take several weeks to set up, so with our schedule we are probably looking at the Fall. Not sure about Aspbergers since she's a social butterfly (?). We tried therapy (twice -- the first time EX pulled out the kids after a month by threatening the provider because he felt that the information disclosed would be used against him in court) but since we always have to work with EX, health care providers are stuck in the middle (he's extremely manipulative and a liar who will do anything it takes to "get his kids". Lately, that has been manipulating difficult child through the phone -- ds is able to see through it more than difficult child who has simply unravelled as a result.) yes, it's true about the step parent thing, but husband is mild with the kids. Kids have told us in the past that EX has told them they don't have to listen because he's not their dad....I agree lots of kids don't like step parents, but they don't call them retard, f--ing id-- or various other extremely nasty comments designed to humiliate and bully. The strange thing is that she can go from 0 to blowing her top in seconds then laughing with friends on the phone (or her dad, describing how evil we are, asking her to clean her room or how she can't go to the field trip because she cussed us out (he offers to pay....)), then striding across the house just taking what she wants (because we are intimidated or avoiding another "incident"). It's just really bizarre. does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a child like this? people tell you that you are not disciplining her enough and yet she doesn't care about consequences anyway. She's taller than me by several inches and looks me in the eye when I tell her "you can't talk to me in that manner/have that/do that" etc and she says "I just did. What are you going to do about it?" it's like difficult child transformed, gradually. How do you live with/set limits with a child like this? do medications help if therapy didn't? (or both together?) really mourning the loss of my child, who I've lost before my own eyes. In the past, she's been remorseful of her angry outbursts but now she feels justified and doesn't "snap back" to herself. She has a distorted sense of what is happening and simply can't feel the love coming her way from me....she's always been one of those kids that could never get enough time/love/affection to feel "whole" but the past few months have been awful (coinciding with puberty -- ). thank you. It's sad, but helpful, to know others are experiencing similar (or worse) challenges. May God give you patience and strength. [/QUOTE]
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